Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Top 10 Things That Are Pissing Me Off Today

Ooooh one of the fun things about coming out of a depression is that point where you start to get really, really pissed about stuff. It's like you've been feeling so sad and anxious for so long that there's no room for other feelings. And then you start to get feeling back, like when your foot has fallen asleep and then you get pins-and-needles as the blood comes rushing back in.

The pins-and-needles are pissiness.

Nothing is out-of-bounds for my irritation, including my own self. I'm pissing myself off at this point with my ADHD and sensory integration crap. I can only imagine what a delight I must be for my family right now.

Thus, here is a list of stuff that's pissing me off right now.

10. People in my neighborhood who cannot limit their illegal Fourth of July fireworks to the Fourth of July. It's Independence Day, people. Not Independence Whole Damn Summer.

9. When various kids appear in my bed at 2 o'clock in the morning and then complain that the bed is too crowded. I keep pointing out that their own beds are so not crowded they're empty, but they can't seem to process that information.

8. The word "thinspiration."

7. Feeling tired and jittery at the same time, which is how transitioning to a new medication makes me feel.

6. That there are people who think it's their place to say not only whether or not Kate Middleton should breastfeed, but whether she should do so publicly. Look, I'm all for breastfeeding, and of course women should have the right to breastfeed in public. But when you start insisting that an individual woman really must breastfeed in public, you step well over the line into douchebaggery. I really can't even wrap my brain around the level of overbearing, self-righteous audacity it takes to tell a woman what to do with her own breasts.

5. Seeing an Herbalife bumper sticker on the back of a tax-paid municipal vehicle today. WTF.

4. That so many people's reaction to this story about a mom who didn't realize she was pregnant, and gave birth to a 24-week-gestation baby on her front lawn, is "OMG, she's so ignorant" instead of "OMG, I hope she and the baby are okay."

3. Irritating Swim Lesson Dad (see last week's post) continues to be an expert on not just parenting but literally everything in the whole history of ever. The only thing keeping me from strangling him with a pair of goggles is that there are children present.

2. Speaking of swim lessons: the locker room is a fetid sauna of people juice.

1. That my brain has apparently limitless capacity to remember 1980s music trivia but not the fact that my kid has a therapy appointment.

1a. Sorry, there's one more thing. The food world (by which I actually mean Pinterest) is intent on doing every damn voodoo possible to watermelon this summer: grilling it, glazing it, and making some kind of bullsh*t smoothie involving chia seeds (it doesn't even have booze in it). All this, and yet I cannot find a watermelon with seeds in it to have a seed-spitting contest with my kids. Our society has bred the seeds right out of all the watermelons. I don't normally worry too much about frankenfoods, but here's a question: how the actual hell do they grow seedless watermelons? I mean, don't you need...seeds?

By the way, yes, I realize these are all majorly "First World Problems" and that there are far worse things in the world. I also realize, however, that it's better for me to vent here than at my kids.

(Anxiety Cat: memegenerator.net)

Recent posts on Babble:
Preemie Survives Front Lawn Birth Thanks to Quick-Acting Police Officers

30 comments:

  1. I'm with ya!!! Vent away!! :)

    That said...every last watermelon I have purchased this year that was labeled "seedless" has, indeed, been full of black seeds--including the mini "personal" ones...grrr! Do they not realize that I cut a seedless watermelon into bite sized cubes and a seeded watermelon into wedges with the rind still on and that there is no way other than the label to distinguish the two before cutting into it? There's my petty rant!

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  2. Let it go, mama! I suffer from depression and anxiety as well, so I can relate to those feelings. You have a right to be annoyed--own it and f-off to those who don't get it; the difference between being an asshat is how you handle the annoyance, and you seem to being doing just fine...unlike myself who literally screamed, with my head out the window, at another driver for being a complete moron and causing me to miss the light...and I did it in front of the kids :) Lovely...hang in there, we know it gets better!

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  3. mentally sending you the seediest (that sounds dirty) watermelon I could possible dream up, a full on torrential down pour over the fireworks people everytime they light up, a high five to the skater who put an herbalife bumper sticker on city property and an event in the pool parent's life that makes the pool an impossibility for just him. wouldn't want to screw his kids cuz his mouth has diarhea. much love!!!

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  4. That's it, woman! Vent! All of those things would piss me off too, if I could muster up the give a sh!t. Unfortunately, this looks like one of those months were I will have to carefully ration my sh!ts, or I will be out of sh!ts to give in the first week.
    Depression sucks hard, but you're on your way out. Keep fighting! I'm on the other end now, fighting not to go back, or at least not to get stuck there. It's a constant struggle to think "What's good today?" So far, I've got tea. I'll keep working on it. Our happy brains are still there--we just have to find them.
    And seriously, don't sit by Irritating Swim Lesson Dad anymore. Bring an audio book or something. Life is too short for that kind of BS.

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  5. Good list! I'm especially feeling the annoying swim lesson dad. I had an annoying mom. Who brought her sick kid to swim class. The class ended two months ago and I still want to choke her for bring that infectious kid near my diabetic daughter for 5 days in a row. Type one diabetes is an auto immune disease, we have enough going on just dealing with that. No need to compound it with illness because you're to lazy to reschedule your class and keep that poor baby home to recover.

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  6. I'm definitely guilty on #4 - hand slapped, and viewpoint corrected.
    #6 - Ridiculous. Poor Kate... I know she chose to fall in love with a prince and then to marry him, knowing that her privacy was done, but her boobies are hers and need to be left OUT of public opinion.

    Great post. I totally get you.

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  7. I say sit next to perfect Dad at swim lessons and take notes, feel free to go so far as to interview him on the "Last Day" of swimming lessons. Tell him he's so interesting you want to write about his "Superior Intellect. and fascinating conversation starters" Think of all the blog post fodder that will supply you with. Be sure to mumble stark mumble mumble Mommy blog. Maybe he's the Daddy who spends his Money on those awful shoes. ;-P

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  8. The neighborhood I live in people are always setting off fireworks and no not only in the summer. It drives me nuts!!! I have small children including a baby with sensory issues who can't even sleep at night because of these inconsiderate jerks...my oldest is in ESY so he still needs to go to bed early and wake up early...my husband works shift work so he needs to be able to sleep odd hours of the day and night even weekends...not to mention I myself don't want to hear that crap all evening...so yeah I feel your pain! Ugh.

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  9. Hugs to you! Go ahead and vent, we've all been there and get you girlfriend!

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  10. My List of stuff for a Crappy Summer goes as follows:

    1. I am in College ,online classes, and i get no summer break. Please let me have one month free!

    2.For the love of God tell my kid Mommy has homework and cannot play lets put all the cars in the toilet,rescue them, clean the lake that was my bathroom and STILL make you a snack and get this homwork in before my deadline.

    3. I want a mother trucking watermelon to have seeds in it so I can scare my toddler into thinking he ate one and a watermelon will grow out of his tummy and also have a spitting ocntest.

    4. It is summer... where are all the summer jobs? I am broke, in school and have a kid. I don't care if I am flipping mudder truckering burgers hire me!

    5. Quit assuming that because I am still in school I am like 16. When I say I am in college ask my age. I will be 25 in August. (This happens all of the time because apparently I look retardedly young. I get the under aged mom thing a LOT)

    6. It is a gazillion and a half degrees in my house with the window unit on, the fan on and I am baking from the inside out. HELP!

    7. My toddler is baking internally as well and doesn't seem to notice as long as cars and Megabloks are present for Mommy to not see and step on.

    8. If Toddlers daddy doesn't pick him up for his weekly visit is it ok to go on a "i lost my schmidt" rampage and decimate the EX?

    9. I need more sleep and possibly soda nad ice cream, but again to the being broke thing.

    10. I am mentally unstable normally and not having my toddler in his class at least 2 times a week is killing me, my sanity and making everything else so much harder. Someone rescue me!


    P.S.
    Pardon my typos. I love all my fellow Mommies and Daddies and I love this blog when I have time to do something besides homework and child chasing!

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    Replies
    1. The typos are fine, but please don't use the word "retarded" when you mean "ridiculous"-- or at all, actually. People with intellectual disabilities find it really hurtful.

      (Oh, and my sympathies about your toddler. They are exhausting! But at least they make for great stories... once you've stopped screaming!)

      Delete
  11. The nonstop fireworks thing in Upper Darby always drives me crazy, so you're not alone there. ;)

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  12. #10 - SERIOUSLY. Someone in my neighborhood has been setting them off when it gets dark every single freaking night. The other night I finally dug some earplugs out of my nightstand and put them in when s/he woke me up AGAIN at 11:30 p.m. Argh!

    #6 - Just thank your lucky stars you no longer live in Texas, because shit is getting bananas down here re: women's ownership of their own bodies. And I am NOT talking about the a-word, I'm talking about basic access to healthcare. Crazy, man.

    #1a - OMG, my husband is such a watermelon snob that he REFUSES to eat seedless watermelon. Which is pretty much all they have now. I found a seeded one at our local farmer's market and paid $8 for it and it turned out to be overripe. FML.

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  13. Have you read http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/?

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  14. Okay, you have provided me with the ideal description of many of my days. 'The pins and needles are pissiness'. You have a new follower my friend. I feel as though you have spoken the words boiling in my soul for a while. Especially when it comes to the story of the mom and her new baby - be concerned about other people every once in a while people. Could you possibly be so self righteous that the health of a new mom and baby doesn't occur to you first. Dumb question, I know.

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  15. New reader here... I was thinking, "She must live in Philly because it's been July 4th since June 30th."

    Swim Dad. He's everywhere! My friends and family insist that he is a unicorn made by my oversensitive brain. No, there really are such ilk lurking at birthday parties, tumbling classes, and waiting rooms. I like one commenter's suggestion to make him blog fodder and ask him to mansplain how women should give birth or what he thinks of Wendy Davis. Then bat your eyes at him Jon Stewart-Style, saying, "Tell me more."

    I am sorry that the world has been pissing you off a lot. I explained to my support network that being my children's advocate means I am in a constant state of anger, while always striving to be tactful, positive, and focused. It is hard to keep from going into Wolverine Berserker mode. I hope the universe gives you a break soon. -Anna

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    Replies
    1. Why, yes, I *am* in the Philly area, where it will continue to be July 4th until November-ish. And thank you for the phrase "Wolverine Berserker mode." That is exactly it.

      Delete
  16. Have you read Hyperbole and a Half? She's got a brilliant post on depression and coming out. Plus she's an amazing artist, a compelling storyteller, and is freaking hilarious. Xoxoxo

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  17. Swim dad sounds like a sociopath. Come up with something insane that you suppossedly did and listen to him tell you he's done it as well but better and under more extremem circumstances. You can make it a game. It can get really hilariously fun.

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  18. LOL. Yes the pool changing room. Ugh. Stepping into a petri dish every.time.

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  19. 10. You crack me up AND make me cry.
    9. My neighbor used to set off @#!@! mortars in our suburban 1/3 acre-per-tract neighborhood. His idea of courtesy was to give me enough warning to plug my ears. I hated him all day long on July 4. My dogs hated him even more.
    8. I am feeling stabby because of stress about a new job.
    7. I am feeling ungrateful. I have a new job. What's my problem?
    6. Jenn cracks me up. "looks like one of those months where I will have to carefully ration my sh!ts, or I will be out
    of sh!ts to give in the first week"
    5. a fetid sauna of people juice is a gloriously gross summation of teh public space
    4. I spend too much time reading about other people's lives and not enough living my own.
    3. And the other lives I read about are fictional half the time.
    2. That being said, "Little Bee" is a fabulous book. I'll go start living my life AFTER I finish it.
    1. Thanks for blogging.

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  20. Way to go dear...
    You;ve got yourself another fan and follower.

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  21. wait!.....80's bighairband songs vs kid's therapy.......(i'm thinking....)

    we ALL vote bighairband....easy....the kid will do great it's YOU we wurry about...

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  22. Great post. Is the fireworks thing a nation-wide issue? When did this happen? I hate it! It startles the hell out of me and wakes my kids up (which is also quite startling). P.S. Love the photo. That is me.

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  23. i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he traditional spell hospital casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you traditional spell hospital for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

    ReplyDelete
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