Last year we crowned Jennifer Petkov, the woman who had cyber-bullied a dying little girl, as the year's Biggest Douche. It was a tough choice, because there were just so many douches to choose from. Kody Brown in particular seemed like a good spokesmodel for an Ed Hardy-Massengil product tie-in. (See "Douchetopia: The Top Ten Douches of 2010" for the full list.)2011 was not short on douches, either. Last year we had a whole complicated voting process and frankly I don't think I can manage that this year, so Mom-In-A-Million and I are taking your nominations, and then we'll go through and come up with the top ten in a few weeks.
Remember, douches can be male or female. Don't limit yourself to the obvious celebrity choices, like Charlie Sheen or the various members of the Kardashian family. There are some pretty clear choice in sports, politics (both left-wing and right-wing), and international intrigue. Also, Mother Nature was pretty douchetastic this year, providing us with more natural disasters in one year than I can ever remember.
It'll be a tough job weeding through the biggest douches, but Mom-In-A-Million and I are ready to wrangle with such tough questions as: Is Jerry Sandusky a douchebag, or is that simply too good a word for someone who is (allegedly) evil incarnate? What about the 27-year-old guy who saw something happening in the Penn State locker room shower, and instead of intervening/beating the crap out of Sandusky, he ran to tell his father? Is cowardly the same as douchey?
So many questions, so many douches.
But the most important question is: who do you think were this year's biggest douchebags? Leave your nominations in the comments!
No question. Casey Anthony. Or my boss. I think Casey would get more votes.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I have been living under a rock all year, so I'm not really up to date on all the douches out there. I'd keep Kody Brown on the list just cause he creeps me the hell out. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteOh. I did hear about someone who I think should be at the top of the list. I just learned about the Fast and Furious movement/thingy in Washington. Do ya'll know what this is? "Give seized and registered guns back to drug dealers so we can prove seized and registered guns make it back into circulation". One of those guns was used to kill a border patrol officer. The douche behind this? Eric Holder. Backed by Obama. Ugh.
Newt Gingrich: Poor kids should work at their schools as janitors.
ReplyDeleteWithout a doubt, some consideration must be given to awarding this to Maine's governor, Paul LePage. The reasons are too numerous to count. I realize Wisconsin's governor has been more notorious, but I think LePage has been worse overall. And the state's constitution has no provision for a recall, so we're stuck with him.
ReplyDeleteCasey Anthony, followed by Jose Baez.
ReplyDeletePlease can I suggest Ricky Gervais for unashamedly using the word 'mong ' and then making 'mong' faces when asked to apologise to people with Down's Syndrome who were offended? X
ReplyDeleteAnyone involved in raping young boys at Penn State! Soo sick!!
ReplyDeleteMichele Bachmann who abused her soapbox by contributing to society's tendency to negatively associate employment with breastfeeding. By riffing on tax deductions for breastpump rentals, she brought negative attention to beneficial government spending on childhood obesity.
ReplyDeleteCoinciding with her is the less public Rios, teh Fox News contributor who says that 75% of women already breastfeed, completely ignoring what EVERYONE else (who doesn't have a bleed-to-lead platform) says when they point out that 75% of women start breastfeeding but less than a third (OF THOSE!) are still breastfeeding at 6 months.
Scott Walker, WI Governor. His douchy ass is gonna get recalled.
ReplyDeleteAnd simply because the wound is just sooo fresh for this Cards fan, Albert Pujols..."It's not about the money." Riiiiiight...
I agree Satan Sandusky deserves his own category, like Lucifer's Monster and his Minions (Paterno, etc.)
ReplyDeleteThe Kardashians thrive on negative attention so should get the lowest spot. They can't brag, "We're number 10!"
Perry is an ignorant moron, not much of a threat. Does that qualify for douche-dom? Gingrich is more dangerous because he's an effective manipulator. But even his evil-barbie wife can't make up for that troll head of his.
Casey Anthony earned the OJ Simpson award. Maybe she too will end up in prison for something less (I hope.) Amanda Knox was declared innocent but I wonder if that pretty face belies something much uglier.
I think #1 goes to people who hurt kids, of whom, sadly,there are many.
I vote for TEPCO for lying about how much radiation actually got out after the Tsunami. If they had been honest perhaps the meltdown and lasting effects could have been lessened.
ReplyDeleteDanielle Settle
Oooooo . . . Herman Cain. For thinking he could cover up the affair while running on the "family values" ticket.
ReplyDeleteRick Perry and Newt Gingrich.
ReplyDeleteSo many douchebags...so little time! Going to have to think about this one and come back ...have to narrow down the field I guess! HA!
ReplyDeleteLast year's special education staff at Exley elementary in Katy, TX get my vote for abusing special needs kids. Also, the administration there for not letting the parents know until this school year that the abuse occurred last year.
ReplyDeleteSandusky would be my other vote, for obvious reasons.
the special ed teacher and her aide, in Ohio, who were beyond mean to a student
ReplyDeleteThe principal who banned the use of balls in schoolyards (and the board who supported it). This is up in Canada, btw.
ReplyDeleteI nominate the Congressional "Super" Committee ... not super at all! Pretty douche-y when you can't even agree on cuts to help balance the country's budget.
ReplyDeletePayPal for totally ruining Regretsy's attempt at helping out underprivileged kids for Christmas and saying that it would be okay to help sick cats, but not poor kids.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/05/cats-1-kids-0/
Can we give an honourable mention to the bigot in Kentucky who recently banned inter-racial couples from being members of his congregation?
ReplyDeleteI nominate the douche that decided to dump soldier's remains in a landfill.
ReplyDeleteNewly elected mayor of Troy Michigan, Janice Daniels, who posted on facebook in June “I think I am going to throw away my I Love New York carrying bag now that queers can get married there.” and after making national news still doesn't understand what the big deal is and won't sincerely apologize. Total douche.
ReplyDeleteObama for saying that Veterans need to pay for their own health care. I am a veteran, and am on 100% Disability thanks to Services Rendered to the Country. I can't work. How the flop am I supposed to pay for my health care? He's so douchey he's douche sauce at this point.
ReplyDeletehttp://waronterrornews.typepad.com/home/2011/12/those-pesky-veterans-are-bankrupting-the-nation.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed:+WarOnTerrorNews+%28War+On+Terror+News%29
Murdoch, Murdoch, Murdoch! It's sick enough that Rupert's reporters hacked private info from thousands, even misleading the police and the family of a missing girl in order to get a scoop. (The girl died.) Most damaging is his vast media empire that presents propaganda as news. Now an entire generation has grown up thinking BS is the truth, leading them to tolerate and even vote for greedy, dangerous power-mongers. Irreparable damage!
ReplyDeleteThe Kardashian mother. I don't know her first name. I was going to suggest the one with the 70 whatever day marriage, but she seems to be the type of vapid twit who was raised to be a vapid twit. That falls in her mother's lap. Did she teach her daughters anything other than flawless mascara application? It doesn't seem so. And I'm sick of women who pimp their children out to reality television. Sure some of her children are adults, but they don't seem to have been raised to think for themselves or to deal with life in the real world. It's sad.
ReplyDeleteRick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Courtney Stodden
ReplyDeleteJerry Bostic. Who suspended a 9 year old for two days for saying s teacher was cute. Rob Francis, who got caught in an online sex sting with a girl he thought was. Christophe Champenois, who "washed" his year old to death in a washing machine.
ReplyDeleteSo many choices. My top 2: the person(s) who decided to put the cremated remains of some of our soldiers in a landfill, and the president, athletic director, and head coach at Penn State (Spanier, Curley, and Paterno) who didn't go to police when alerted to allegations of abuse against children by Jerry Sandusky, years ago.
ReplyDeleteI would definitely keep Kody Brown on the ballot...then add in Jerry Sandusky, Rick Perry and Herman Cain (and go ahead and throw in a few more GOP-ers for good measure!)
ReplyDeleteCongress - for preventing our kids from getting nutritious meals at school by saying that pizza is a vegetable.
ReplyDeleteNancy Pelosi, cause she's scary as hell, and bat crazy. Biden and Obama, for obvious reasons. Casey Anthony, for sure. Mother Nature should definitely get a nomination, but I fear her coming after me to get even. Lindsay Lohan. Man, I could go on. So many douches this year.
ReplyDeleteIf Ashton K. doesn't win this...I mean, cheating on your anniversary? IMO the Evil Incarnate people go way beyond douche-itude. Not even on Planet Douche. So Ashton FTW.
ReplyDeleteExley Elementary School for their disgusting, hateful, evil treatment of kids with autism. They might have crossed the line from douchetastic to evil but let's throw 'em in the mix and see who sinks to the bottom.
ReplyDeleteCasey Anthony #1, and Kim Kardashian, #2.
ReplyDeleteI nominate Anthony Weiner, a good congressman, but a total douche otherwise. I'd echo the nomination of Janice Daniels and add the Mayor of the town in Tennessee where you have to pay separately for fire protection, and he thinks it's just fine to let houses burn down with the fire department watching.
ReplyDeleteJerry Sandusky and Casey Anthony et al are too evil to be included in a list like this; their crimes far exceed douche-itude.
~physicsmom
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ReplyDeleteJerry Sandusky -although like you said, might be too nice of a word for the devil himself!! Close tie is Casey Anthony! I'm praying that her child died accidentally and she was just too scared to come forward. Either way-she's still a douchebag given her "lifestyle" as a mother!! :(
ReplyDeleteMy vote's for Rick Perry. Probably not the BIGGEST douche, but he rates a mention.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Carrie, as well. Casey is up there. And her lawyer too. What sicko defends her?
Pat Robertson gets my vote as well. Really Pat? You had to make mac n cheese a race issue? Oy!
I think Cindy Anthony gets my vote. Some of the others mentiomed are just too heinous for a simple "douche" tag. But Casey's dear mama was asked in an interview if she'd trust Casey to babysit future children (that her brother might have for instance), she said yes. Hey-oh idiot, even if you only go with what Casey's admitted to she's shown poor enough judgment *I* wouldn't let her babysit my pet rock.
ReplyDeleteHarvey Updyke,the idiot who says he poisoned the historic trees at Auburn University last year after they won the National Championship for football. Totally douchey thing to do.
ReplyDeleteIf I could nominate a company, Amazon.com, for trying to kill small business in America.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, Rick Perry for his ad.
Rick Perry. For being douchey enough to run a full blown anti-gay campaign ad that features the music of Aaron Copland (a gay, Jewish American composer.) It just blows my mind that someone could say the things that he says.
ReplyDeleteso so many choices. it would have to be dear old newt for suggesting that schools fire all janitors except for one and have low income kids take over the jobs after school so they can get on the job training. or congress, for failing to protect kids from BPA in cans, arsenic in apple juice, cantelopes.. whuckarama.
ReplyDeleteCourtney Stodden and her pimping "parents" get my vote. That whole situation is disgusting. The pumpkin patch pictures just put the icing on that putrid cake. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Ruth Meadof (Bernard Meadof's wife). She wrote a book about being married to the scoundrel and the loss of her son and pocketed ALL the money. She didn't give any of it to the victims of her husband's scam. She was just trying to make a buck off her son's death and her scamming husband.
ReplyDeleteI actually know Jennifer Petkov, and have to say that, while she is a complete douchebag and smelly pirate hooker, I doubt she was genuinely worthy of the title of Biggest Douche of the Year last year.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think it's amazing that this is such a small world and you even knew about Jennifer Petkov and her story.
I went to high school with her, and she was a big girl with a nasty attitude. Hardly anyone liked her then either.
Biggest Douche this year? Penn State child molesters. They should be tarred, feathered, and burned at the stake while having their dicks chopped of. :)
GRR! That was supposed to say OFF not OF at the end.
ReplyDeleteI've got a few nominations for you....
ReplyDelete1. Steven Roth, the special ed "teacher" from NJ who was caught on film berating his students.
2. Ke$ha. Because if glamourizing alcohol abuse and sleaze isn't enough to get her on the list...the dollar sign in her name should be. Not to mention, that whole beard thing is gross.
3. Any and all insurance companies that are involved in providing services to those affected by Hurricane Irene. My parents home in upstate New York was flooded in 2005 because the NYCDEP released excess amount of water from the Schoharie Reservoir into the Ashokan reservoir. Luckily, once the 12 feet of water in their home was pumped out, their insurance covered the damage and their personal belongings. It took a while, as all insurance claims do, but they received funds to repair their home in a decent amount of time. Fast forward to August of 2011- They have the same insurance company. Hurricane Irene wreaks havoc on the entire East Coast, causing varying amounts of damage due to wind, rain and the like. My parents home flooded again. This time only 11 feet of water instead of 12. The insurance company informs them that only structural damage is covered because they used their coverage already towards belongings back in 2005. Ok, kinda crappy but that's how the cookie crumbles. And we already know it takes a while to receive insurance money, right? Well, it should NOT take 4 months to receive funds from a company that you PAY to cover you in case of emergencies. My parents have yet to see a dime of insurance money and FEMA has proven to be utterly useless. They are living in a shell of a home, with no heat and no walls. I'm not posting this as a sob story, looking for pity but it really is despicable what insurance companies can get away with, especially when it comes to homeowners in small towns (theirs has a population of less than 2,000- about a quarter of the population was effected by the flood damage). My parents are actually a few of the lucky ones. Some homeowner's insurance companies flat out REFUSED to provide their customers with anything whatsoever, even though they still maintained coverage. Phew...sorry for the rant. Hope those bastards make the list.
Penn State Child Molesters, the bigot church in Kentucky, Rick Perry, Newt "Janitor" Gingrich and my own stupid asshole of a prime minister who just pulled us out of Kyoto, Stephen Harper.
ReplyDeleteJosez Baez and Anthony Weiner.
ReplyDeleteHow about the Texas judge that was caught on tape beating his daughter. She posts it hoping he'll get help and he doesn't see that he did anything wrong at all.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe I saw anyone mention Warren Jeffs! I mean come on Kody Brown has nothing on this guy! He is in jail for raping his underage age "spiritual brides" so what does he do, tell his followers that men can't have sex with their wives! I guess if he can't get any nobody can. Then he says teen girls can't have cell phones, what's that about, he doesn't want them to be able to dial 911 when some sick old man tries to have his way with them because he can't diddle his wife! Also his followers must get rid of all children's toys! Is he just trying to make his whole commune insane!
ReplyDeleteI nominate the young employees at the Apple Store in Bethesda, Maryland who heard a woman in the neighboring store (Lululemon) getting beaten and stabbed to death and who did nothing about it. They listened to her cries for help through the walls and talked about it. They even had a Security Guard in the Apple Store who didn't hear anything 'cause he had his earbuds in -- and they didn't alert him. So they wouldn't have had to endanger themselves -- just tell him and he would have gone in to see what was up. It's more than douchey -- it's horrific. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-9Vtwrl9H4
ReplyDelete