Also, I'm preparing to give my friends tours of the important Philadelphia landmarks: Independence Park, the LOVE sculpture, Pat's Steaks, and the Art Museum. Obviously, we don't actually need to go in the Art Museum. We just need to pose like Rocky Balboa in front of the Art Museum.
While I'm cleaning, I listen to the radio. It's summer, which means no radio station can resist over-playing "California Gurls" by Katy Perry. It's like some kind of commandment: Thou shalt play California Gurls at least twice an hour.
As a result, what's constantly running through my head is the "Pennsylvania Guys" parody by Sloppy Secondz.
Note 1: I'd like to point out that the absence of dental care in the Philly neighborhood of Kensington is
Note 2: I think Lydia from Rants from Mommyland will appreciate the reference to milking a fake cow at Dutch Wonderland.
Yes, folks, there is still time to visit the Keystone State during your children's summer break! At my end of the state, what could be more educational than a visit to Yuengling, America's oldest brewery, in Pottsville, PA? Also, you can't hardly swing a dead cat without hitting a pretzel factory in this state. There's also the quaint beauty of Lancaster County, which includes the town of Intercourse, PA. (Always educational: "Mommy and Daddy, why are you giggling?") For your novelty tee shirt purchasing convenience, Intercourse is located near the towns of Bird in Hand and Blue Ball. ("No, really, why are you giggling?)
Of course, Philadelphia is the town I know best in Pennsylvania. You should totally visit. Besides all the obvious historical attractions, it's the home of some of the most heart attack-inducing cuisine in the U.S.: cheese steaks, hoagies, scrapple (don't ask), and pork roll. Not to worry, though. Should you stroke out while scarfing down some cholesterol at Tony Luke's, we're also home to some of the nation's finest teaching hospitals.
I'm sure my friends can't wait to visit now. Pennsylvania welcomes you.