"Oh My God, There's a (Expletive) Emergency Every (Expletive) 5 Minutes!"

Yesterday I commented on my Facebook page that I know my son's autism is great for forcing me to slow down and all, but I really needed to get some crap done.  And I couldn't, because he was already at DEFCON 2, so running errands was simply out of the question.

Oh yes, we're still recovering from vacation, apparently.  Plus, we're ramping up the anxiety of starting Kindergarten.  Gah.

Lots of readers chimed in about understanding the feeling of not getting anything done.  A reader named Marie then posted,

"Dad's on vacation this week.  He commented this morning: "Oh my god, there's a (expletive) emergency every (expletive) 5 minutes!!". Welcome to my days honey! Great day considering we found our oldest (6 years old) with autism tearing apart the basement -- trying to find tools to turn off the hot water heater. Did I mention it took me 3 hours to fold laundry? Is it a full moon?"

I'm still laughing about this one.  Or maybe crying.  Because it is so. damn. true.  Not the part about the hot water heater.  My kids have far too much anxiety to venture into our disgusting basement.

However, we really do seem to have an emergency every (expletive) five minutes.  And I'd be hard pressed to believe that having my stress hormone levels shoot up and down every five minutes doesn't have at least something to do with my delightful new thyroid condition.

Yesterday was the kind of day where, when my husband finally came home at 8:30 at night (Wednesday is a suckfest that way), I felt like I had accomplished absolutely nothing.  I needed to go to the Post Office, start school clothes shopping, and make a crapload of phone calls.

Instead, here is what I actually got done yesterday:

The box says it has whole grains and real
cheese.  That's two major food groups
right there.

• I had fed the kids.  (Cereal, peanut butter sandwiches, frozen pizza, four pounds of grapes, and an economy-size box of Goldfish crackers.)
• Their clothes were cleanish, in that they started the day with no visible stains.  I'm pretty sure at least two of my kids have been wearing the same outfits for the last 48 hours straight, but as I said, no visible stains.
• I had showered and combed my hair.
• Everyone had their medications, at the appropriate dosages and times.
• I had navigated approximately 36 meltdowns and potential meltdowns without yelling at anyone.
• All four of our children are still alive.

Whew.  You know what?  I am a (expletive) rock star.