 |
| MeltdownFest 2011: You can see how much fun this polar bear is having. |
I was fortunate enough to be invited to the home of the lovely author of Donkeys to College*, anyway, so it's like I went to a blogging conference. Except most of the people there didn't even know what a blog was, except for DTC herself, and of course her mom. They have one of those Kathy Griffin - Maggie Griffin dynamics going on. (In all fairness, though, DTC's mom isn't guzzling wine all the time.)
DTC has an annual summer bash that is legendary. It involves food and drink and a DJ loud enough that the cops came. Given that it's been approximately 20 years since I've been at a party where police officers showed up as something other than invited guests, I found that pretty impressive.
Now, I am both a massive dork and constantly tired. Even without drinking, I don't like to drive at night. One drink and I'm pretty sure I'll crash my minivan and kill myself. Therefore, I stayed over at DTC's house, furthering my illusion that I was attending a blogging conference.
Despite my lovely time away, I am now paying the price. Not in hangover form, because despite my love of a good frodka, I just don't drink that much. No. I am paying the price in terms of my youngest son being completely pissed off and out-of-whack because I was away overnight.
This goes beyond paying the price in terms of dishes left undone in the sink and no one's hair being brushed, which I've come to expect when I'm out. I don't care about that stuff. Pretty much as long as everyone's breathing when I get home, I don't care what the hell happens because I got a night out.
Little Dude does not like a change in routine. He does not like for me to be away. He doesn't even like me to be in the bathroom with the door closed, let alone sleeping at someone else's house. Generally speaking, I think he'd prefer to sleep in my uterus every night.
In the last thirty minutes alone he has had fits because the Pork Lo Maniac wanted to watch Phineas and Ferb on Netflix out of episode order; because we were out of Sun Chips; and because last night he had to sleep in his own bed (where he always sleeps). I know: the horror ... the horror. He has also pooped three times in that time span. Awesome. Remind me to get more Pull-Ups.
I know that the amount of time to recover from vacation equals 50 percent of the time you were away. Anyone know how long it takes for a child to recover from the parent being away?
*p.s. Today's post from Donkeys to College features men in Speedos. Thong Speedos. You're welcome.
I go away about every 2yrs for approx 5 days. Mother comes to help Dh. We go out approx 2 days/mth and leave them with a sitter.
ReplyDeleteWe decided long ago that we were living "normally" and the kids have learned to adjust.
I should have sent you home with the cardboard cutout of The Party. You could have let Little Dude get out his anger and frustration by kicking the crap out of it.
ReplyDeleteSorry, recovery is going slowly there, but soooo glad you came and we had such a nice visit. Also glad none of my friends threw ice in your face.
xo
Yes, eventually ASD kids become more accustomed to changes in routine like this. But Little Dude is a preschooler and for us that was the most difficult time for meltdowns (although DS still has them, they are not as frequent and not as unpredictable) and anxiety. It does get better.
ReplyDeleteBoy would I love to go out two times a month and leave my kids with a sitter! Babysitters cost $15/hr where I live, and if you add on a movie or dinner or whatever my husband and I would spend on those nights out, we'd not be able to pay our light bill. Ever.
Uterus comparison drawings = brilliance!
ReplyDeleteHope little dude settles soon and that you can have some peace and quiet.
I haven't spent the night out in a couple of years, but last night I left my house before the kids' bedtime and came back after they were asleep. Major problem for my 4-year-old son with SPD. Since I am the one who carries out his bedtime routine EVERY NIGHT, Daddy was not acceptable and nothing Daddy did was acceptable. When I saw him this morning, the first thing my son said to me was, "Daddy!" It was a complaint, like he felt wronged, lol. Ah, well. It was worth it, at least for me!
ReplyDeleteNot sure how Kathy Griffin and her mom get along. (Maybe her mom has to guzzle b/c Kathy is not nice to her?) So...not sure if it's a compliment or a dig. We'll discuss later.
ReplyDeleteHad my share of Margaritas. The Party couldn't be bothered to make frozen ones this year, so I curtailed my usual imbibement.
Lovely to meet my daughter's contemporary in show biz.
DTC's Mom
This explains the meltdown in my house last night. Although my son went out swimming with a friend yesterday. He was majorly angry that we were not home (as he expected) when he got home. And that we didn't have dinner together. (Dad and I snuck in a date while he was out). We had to pay for it when we got home.
ReplyDeleteEvery time recovery takes less time. At least for the kid. Attachment issues aren't solved by posting a permanent vacancy in Mom's womb - it's by Mom being human and the kids learning to deal with the fact that she deserves "Me" time, too. Unhealthy attachment/dependence isn't good for either party. That'd be just as unhealthy as following your kid to college and sleeping under his bed. Just ignore the antics/tantrums and let it be SOP that the world didn't end because Mom was incommunicado for a few hours.
ReplyDeleteAh god my four year old with autism is Profoundly disturbed by absences of ANY kind on my part- Which, as a single mom, actually doesn't happen all that often, exacerbating the issue... If he isn't in a good enough mood the day of, I've been known to cancel plans, just because the fun I could have will not compensate for his dreadful head-banging upon my return. :/ And forget babysitters- I'm talking about leaving him at home with a member of my immediate family!
ReplyDeleteThat is fricking hilariously accurate.
ReplyDeleteWhen I go away overnight, my 4yo likes to sleep in my uterus as well. She's like a giant wart that moves from my leg to my hip to my back then around again. She constantly tries to sit on me, as if it will keep me from going away again.
Which makes me want to go away again.
I finally had to escape the nest myself, to avoid a full mommy meltdown. I return to a daughter who thinks that I abandoned her and must cling to my knees at all times. With a runny nose. I was gone for three hours and came home by 8 p.m.
ReplyDeleteJulie
ilikebeerandbabies.com
My kids are usually ok with me being gone... Himm maybe because of that one week (delightful vacation) I spent in the hospital when The Dr had No idea what was wrong with me. 3 meals in bed every day and cable TV and no kids... was a bit of heaven on earth.
ReplyDeleteNo what happens around here lately is if Daddy goes away on a weekend conference. My DD1 flips out thinks a Hurricane or Tornado or a Tsunami is eminent. She will not SLEEP till he is home. Also the fact that the coast line is 6 hours away makes no difference to her.
I've decided the next conference he goes to I'm farming the kids out to sleepovers. I mean No one expects kids to actually sleep at sleepovers. Then her behavior will look normal. And I will get "Alone Time." Muhahahaha
This totally cracks me up! Change was an ugly word in our house. I'm so glad those days are over.
ReplyDeleteI was at a kid's b-day party the other day and someone quoted John Travolta from "Look Who's Talking". John was talking to the boy baby and said something along the lines of "you spend 9 months trying to get out and the rest of your life trying to get back in." Of course, John meant differently but your uterus pic goes well with the quote.
Yeah, I weight the price of leaving with the recovery time. It goes like this at our house:
ReplyDeleteHours of time away = # of meltdowns squared x pi.
If you can figure that out, you're a genius. Typically for every day I'm gone I figure I have 3 good days of meltdowns plus a month of residual.
poor thing! I want to mention that my 7 year old Aspie has - out of the blue- decided he can be alone in a room and allow me to close the door to the bathroom. It is heaven! And he has kept it up for a couple of months now. So, there is hope...
ReplyDeleteI went over to the neighbor's across the street the other night for ONE drink and my 7 y.o. asparagus went crazy on my mom and hubby. My mom, I should add, who is here helping out while hubby is laid up from an accident. I was literally gone 51 minutes and it was pure hell -- I thought hubby knew our neighbor's phone number but was wrong on that. Sigh........
ReplyDeleteTo the above poster, thank you for reminding me of the days when I couldn't go down to the basement or shut the bathroom door or other normal things that a mom might do because the asparagus would freak out. I tend to forget about the past, because I'm so busy trying to just get through today, and consequently, I forget about the progress that he has made. Every small step makes life a little easier. :)
I, too, am a home pooper and apparently have been since childhood. It's something I keep thinking has changed, and then...well, let's just say that we spent last week in Rehoboth. Pass the espresso, please.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I am also a LIBRARY pooper. Head on over to Marple (it has immediate laxative properties) or to Haverford - but in Haverford you have to go to the children's floor & hang out for a few minutes first. I suppose it depends on how much time you have to kill & how far you're willing to drive.
Sorry Little Dude took your absence so personally. Hope he calms down soon. I do agree with the other poster that occasional repetition of this event will eventually accustom the fam to your infrequent absences. BTW, thanks for the link to DTC. The thong bikini men were, um, delectable.
ReplyDelete~physicsmom
Pray for me. I am going to Florida for a week to visit my sister and her new baby. Your day with Little Dude sounds like pretty much every day with my 3.5-yo, minus the pull-ups (she's too obstinate to use them, she uses the potty, and she left bloody scratches on my arm last week when I offered to help her wipe afterward - sometimes pull-ups are a blessing in disguise!).
ReplyDeleteI love your kids' vision of your uterus. Sorry you had to pay such a high price. I have experienced meltdownfests in my own home. No fun!
ReplyDelete