Not because I didn't trust your diagnosis of Zombie Fever and/or Bieber Fever, but because my endocrinologist's non-answer answers were just vague enough to make me wonder if she had any idea what the hell she was talking about.
Also, frankly, Zombie Fever sounds more plausible than throiditis. I mean, thyroiditis sounds totally made up.
The first endocrinologist was at an admittedly podunk hospital. Our Lady of the Blessed Agony or something, I think it was called. Agreeing to be referred there was a rookie mistake on my part. I live immediately outside Philadelphia, home to some of the nation's best hospitals. Why settle for second best (or possibly somewhere around sixth best) when you can just as easily go to a top-flight teaching hospital?
|Apparently now Dr. House is worth it, too.|
I'm sure no one will be surprised by the fact that you guys were right. Well, not about the Zombie Fever. But after reviewing all my bloodwork and poking me in the neck, my new-and-improved endocrinologist said I have classic Hashimoto's Thyroidits, which was right up there in your diagnoses.
Ding ding ding! You guys win!
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, despite sounding like something from a 1950s Godzilla movie, is an auto-immune foul-up of the thyroid, where you start out hyperthyroid, dip to hypothryoid, and then (usually) level out to normal.
It's also an auto-immune disease, which puts me at a greater risk of having (now or in the future) other auto-immune diseases. I also saw a rheumatologist at said top-notch hospital, who wants to rule out Lupus.
When I dip down to hypothyroid, the doctor will dose me out some kind of thyroid supplement. If I'm one of the 20 percent of patients who doesn't ever quite go back to normal, I'll be on that med forevah.
In the mean time, there's nothing we can really do about my hyperthyroid symptoms. I'm not a good candidate for beta blockers (offered by the first endocrinologist) because I have asthma, and because it will make my dizziness worse.
Aside from the fact that my hairline is receding and I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of blacking out or having a panic attack, it's not so bad. I've decided to embrace my temporary hyperthyroid situation and enjoy the weight loss and insomnia while the going's good. I had put on some weight during our sojourn in Texas, and now the pounds are just melting off. Probably I'm burning a lot of calories with the constant tremors.
And the insomnia has really freed up quite a bit of "me time." It's amazing how much I'm getting done between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m. now that I'm not wasting my time sleeping. I finally cut out caffeine entirely because I'm already like a crackhead, so that's good news for my breasts. No more Diet Coke-filled cysts for me!
I even tried cutting out my Adderall to see if that would help, but then I was jittery and stupid, instead of just jittery.
Sure, I'm jacked up all the time like the Caffeine Patch Lady on Meet the Robinsons, but hey, it's all good.
Caffeine Patch Lady is possibly just hyperthyroid.