You know what's totally awesome? Me. On speed.
After six months of contemplating my evident ADHD, I finally got my shizzle together enough to go get formally diagnosed by an actual doctor. I started medication today and feel terrific. I don't feel wired or jittery, I just feel like a large cloud of static has been cleared out of my brain.
Granted, it was my first day on the med. Maybe tomorrow I'll develop headaches and bipolar symptoms and sleep disturbances.
But maybe not.
Maybe I'll have another day where I get a whole bunch of crap done. Today I paid bills and hung up coat hooks -- two tasks I had been procrastinating for too long. I also did six loads of laundry AND folded AND put away. I had to stop doing laundry (sadly, six loads did not complete the task) because I realized the utility sink had become clogged.
And then I emailed the property management company about the clogged sink. Immediately. Not four days later when we run out of clean clothes again.
You know what I didn't do today?
Go upstairs to get a load of laundry, get distracted by unpacked boxes, open a box, peer inside, decide I don't know where to put any of that stuff anyway, feel guilty about the unpacked boxes, do a half-assed job tidying one of the kids' rooms to assuage the guilt, realize I desperately need more coffee, come downstairs, avoid making eye contact with pile of mail on the kitchen counter, drink fourth cup of coffee, spill coffee on myself, remember to do laundry, go down to the basement, realize kitty litter needs to be changed or else I cannot spend a single second more in the basement, scoop out litter, throw out litter in outside trash can, scrub hands, realize I have to leave right now to pick up kids, remember laundry seven hours later when I'm lying in bed.
Yeah. And that's with me "self-medicating" with caffeine. It just occurred to me that maybe my "pregnancy brain" was just me off of coffee and Diet Coke.
The thing is, like most parents, I'm great at putting my kids' needs first. I make sure they get to their doctor's appointments and get the treatments they need. I kind of suck at taking care of myself, though. Why did it take me so long to get this ADHD diagnoed and start on some meds?
Well, sure, there's the whole ADHD thing itself. But I also need to look at the fact that I let my own mental health fall to the bottom of the priority list, and that's probably not going to make me the parent I want to be.
I can't even say that I finally went to the doctor because I was ready to take charge of my health. I went because my ridiculous caffeine intake is bringing back those painful breast cysts. I suspect I'm part camel, and my body stores excess Diet Coke in these cysts in case of drought. Anyway, when it hurts to put on a bra (and going braless is SO not an option), it's time to make a change.
Today I started taking generic Addreall, and I only had two cups of coffee and half a Diet Coke. Considering that, with few exceptions, I've been chain-drinking coffee and Diet Coke since I was thirteen, that's no small feat.