Hint: It's not me.
Also? Warning: This post is entirely Too Much Information.
Yes, Little Dude went to school in underwear today. He stayed dry all morning in his special needs class, and then switched to a Pull-Up for his regular pre-K class in the afternoon. Which also stayed dry.
Now, before anyone goes getting too excited, this does not, by any stretch of the imagination, mean he's potty trained. He pees on the potty pretty consistently at school, but then is exhausted and resistant by the time he gets home. We're fairly successful on Saturday and Sunday mornings at home, but then it sort of falls apart as the day wears on. And I must repeat that we are only talking about pee here.
I have offered to buy him literally any toy he wants if he will only poop on the potty. So far, no luck. I know he has some ability in that department because he poops almost immediately upon walking in the door from school.
I don't know how much of this is a motor planning issue, or a sensory issue, or just regular kid stubbornness. I think it boils down to a motor planning issue, because he just can't poop sitting down. You would think being seated would be more comfortable than standing. I mean, pretty much everything in life is more comfortable sitting than standing, right? But he just can't seem to figure out how to poop sitting down.
And, well, how do you explain it? I think it's the kind of thing that has to just happen for him to be able to figure it out. It took Little Dude a long time to figure out how to pee on the potty. It involved bribery and photos and about 20 ounces of juice boxes in one sitting.
I'm afraid to push too hard with the poop business, because the last thing we need is for him to get all weird and poop-refusing and constipated.
That, by the way, is yet another thing I didn't know about parenthood. Seriously. Did you have ANY idea how much thought you would give to someone else's poop? That you would be not only willing, but eager, to discuss poop with as many people as would listen?
I wish I had some words of wisdom for those of you entrenched in potty training right now. I have none. I have essentially spent the last eight years potty training people, so I should be really, really good at it by now. I'm not.
Most of the credit for today's success goes to Little Dude's special needs preschool teacher and classroom aides, who make going to the bathroom a regular part of the schedule. Basically, when it's time to go potty, he's not allowed to move on to the next fun activity until he's at least tried. I have been doing that at home, too, and it is making all the difference in the world.
The fact that he wore underwear to school is a huge, magnificent step. It's a slow process, and it's ongoing, but it's happening.
p.s. If you have some time to waste and feel like getting your geeky awesomeness on, check out Geek Cubed.
Congratulations to Little Dude!!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are also amazed at the importance poop. We often joke about our life revolving around feces. Just today we spent about 1 or 2 hours in poop mode -changing diapers, shopping specifically for poop foods, assisting my poor screaming baby with 3 painful poops over an hour or so, and last but not least cleaning up after the cats pooptastrophes. That's even an easy day!
Also, who ever thinks they will be cancelling activities just to sit at home and wait for poops?
Congrats to Little Dude and you! Way to go!!!
ReplyDeleteMy hubby always jokes that when we were potty training my boy our bathroom looked like a carnival - I would notice little toys he liked and prop them up on the back of the sink, like 4-6 at a time. "To the left of the playdoh for a pee, to the right for a poop, what'll it be?" Bigger toys for poops naturally. All good and well until your child looks at you and says "You know what, I want that Veggie Tales movie, I think I'll go poop." Seriously? Yes. Bribery? Yes. But did it work? YES. And we just let him run out of toys and was blessed it didn't cause meltdown. We found that SEEING the toy/prize was helpful - maybe propping up new boxes of legos will help you, I don't know. I just know that all kids are different - my daughter never got a prize for potty'ing.
I wish you luck in your continued journey! Congrats again on the big boy underwear!!
I was discussing poop with my mother one day and she told me she wasn't sure that she ever thought about our pooping as much as I was with my kids. So many things about parenting have changed over the years!
ReplyDeleteMy two also poop right after coming home from school, so I take advantage of that and just schedule it in as part of our afternoon routine. Making poop, having a snack, and homework. Every day. That's just what we do. And because its just what we do, they do it faithfully every day. That works for us!
Thank you so much for making me feel "not alone" in the "must get my child to Poop" deparment. It can be so consuming at times. Your blog really put a smile on my face!
ReplyDelete@Larissa -- I suspect your mother has just blocked it out of her memory. I look forward to the day I can do that, too.
ReplyDeleteWay to go Little Dude! And way to go srmm! :)
ReplyDeleteMy son had a serious constipation problem that made him not want to poop (at 4!). So being the good library worker that I am, I found a book that helped, "It hurts when I poop" (http://www.amazon.com/Hurts-When-Poop-Children-Scared/dp/1433801302/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1292334068&sr=1-1).
ReplyDeleteWe must have read this book dozens of times and used fiber pills and that seemed to do the trick.
I agree the routine of going the same time every day is really helpful (especially after a meal).
Good luck and congrats on this milestone!
I completely hear you. Completely. I tried to potty train my daughter for about 2 years. Everyone kept telling me it will "just" happen. I wanted to smoosh a dirty diaper in their faces for the number of times I heard that ;) And then guess what? One day she just decided to pee on the potty. A few months later, she just decided to poop. I tried toys. I tried bribery. I tried standing on my head while singing Veggie Tales songs (okay, maybe not as I'm not particularly limber but you get where I'm going...) and yep, like you said and the thousands of people who unhelpfully assured me- it really was just one day they "got" it (thank goodness I didn't do the diaper smooshing). Our ped said that every child is born with the day in their mind that they'll finally potty trained- they're just not willing to tell any of us.
ReplyDeleteWe had almost no problem getting my daughter to pee on the potty but pooping was another story. For her I think it just had to happen for her to get it too. I would actually take the little potty into the living room and let her sit while she watched tv. Sounds bad, but it worked. She was distracted enough to not hold it and she had one come naturally. After that we were able to slowly move her into the bathroom with her potty then onto the big potty. Now she has to have a good book everytime she needs to poop(shes still only 3) but you know what, whatever works :)
ReplyDeleteMy daughter had the same problem, not knowing HOW to poop sitting down! (I think different muscles must be used to sit and stand while pushing.) What eventually worked was catching her mid-poop, swooping her off to the toilet, and letting that poop basically "fall" into the toilet (b/c she was already in the middle of it and couldn't stop it, she really had no choice in the matter!) She screamed and cried as I pinned her to the toilet, but I basically praised the heck out of that one poop she made in the toilet and encouraged her to finish the job. Then awarded her with the coveted toy which had been waiting on the back of the toilet for just this time!
ReplyDeletePart two, when she pooped in her pullup next time, the toy got taken away and put back on the toilet to wait for the next time she did it. After a few traumatic episodes, she got it!
So happy for you!!! My little rainman has the same issues... just turned six, will use the toilet at school (only a particular one in the ppcd room and only to pee) but has to go outside to pee at home and refuses to poop in anything but a pullup. And you're right about trying to push it... when I tried to force the issue he just decided to quit pooping altogether! I'm so glad to hear that I am not the only one going through this with my kid!!
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel better, my boy is eight and will not poop sitting down either. He just can't. Motor plannig? I dont' know. BUt he gets his own pull up and puts it on, then goes off to do his business. It'll happen. Eventually. But we're thrilled that we've gotten this far, since the negative nannies insist he'll be in diapers until 12.
ReplyDeleteGo Little Dude! That's AWESOME!!!! My own little rainman refused to even CONSIDER anything having to do with the potty until he was four - I blame that FREAKY "Today is Bobby's Birthday" video...... But once he made the decision to go over from the dark side, it was once and done. Never looked back. Here's hoping Little Dude goes down the same path!
ReplyDeleteWAY TO GO, LITTLE DUDE!! Hang in there, SRMM!! You're both doing great!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how much thought and energy we put into dealing with our kids' potty training! Who knew that there was a whole WORLD revolving around how to get your child to pee/poop in the toilet. Congratulations to Little Dude - even small steps are big steps.
ReplyDeleteCongrats Little Dude!! And you too SRMM... wish i was there to lift a frodka with you! :)
ReplyDeleteYay for Little Dude.
ReplyDeleteMy son with SN wasn't potty trained until he was 4 1/2. His twin brother (who also has special needs) was potty trained about 9 months before him. He just refused to go on the potty. Everyday he came home from day treatment, went in his room, and poo'd in his pants. Then he got majorly constipated and had to go to the doctor several times. Then one day...it just happened. It's been a year now, he's in regular kindergarten and so far it's going well.
Best of luck!
I'm on my second child with encopresis (they withhold poop until it backs up and squeezes around the blockage is the short description). I can't believe how much time/energy is spent on the bathroom. I only have 2 children and I've been working on getting one or the other to use the bathroom for 9 years. My oldest is finally much much better but the youngest? Not at all. And he's not that young-almost 7.
ReplyDeleteThis is a TMI comment.... apparently becoming a parent means discussing poop is no longer a big deal. Why we as parents get together and talk about poop,pee, and puke is beyond me but we ALL do it.
ReplyDeleteActually constipation worked in my favor in this department. Kate refused to poop in her Dora panties. She refused to poop on the potty as well. (who knew kids could be so darn stubborn) Anyways she was getting constipated which included bloating and screaming! (I had gone cold turkey on the diapers because cold turkey is the only method that works with her) I put her in a warm bath that covered her belly in hopes of getting things going. She started to scream that she had to go potty (expecting a diaper) yeah I popped her on the potty and she didn't have a choice but to go poop in the potty. She cried at first until she realized how happy this made me. I included lots of stickers, praise, hugs and kisses. After that she was only nervous a few more times and the constipation and fear of pooping on the potty stopped. I do not know if this will help anyone else!
AWESOME!!! Go Little Dude.
ReplyDeleteMy SPD kid used to only be able to poop if he was wearing a diaper and ducky rain boots--and standing otherwise naked in the hall closet, holding a broom. For years.
My neurotypical kid is still having poop accidents at 5 1/2. (Maybe not so neurotypical.) We have taken her to the "poop doctor," who does biofeedback and launched us on a charting/reward system, we're doing an online program called UCANPOOPTOO, she's on a schedule of sitting that has never yielded poop and a medication that seems to cause more accidents.
I don't know about us--I'm pretty sure my daughter will have her drivers license before she stops having accidents--but I can tell that Little Dude is on his way.
Very Cool! Nice job little dude. Every kid is different, this I know…he will get it!
ReplyDeleteCongrats.
ReplyDeleteMy son had very similar potty problems. I pushed too much with the poops and he ended up constipated and in need of supositories (not fun). Finally I just started asking him to fart once a day while sitting on the potty. We made a funny game out of it. A few weeks later we returned from a trip (he avoids pooping when not at home even to this day) and reminded him he hadn't tried to fart on the toilet. I guess he needed to poop because the fart got things started. Huge toy awarded, figured out the motor planning, pooped 3 more times in 2 days on the potty and never had a problem again.
As a mom of 4, I wish I could stick them all in diapers on every road trip. Beats peeing at every rest stop, skank gas station, and sleazy diner between here and EVERYWHERE. Stick 'em all back in diapers is what I say!
ReplyDeletebut, that said, there is nothing cuter than a little boy in his first pair of tidy whiteys!
I'm so glad I'm not the only one sitting around waiting for the kid to poop before I leave the house to buy more diapers.
ReplyDeleteBear's getting old enough people are starting to give us that look when we're in public - you know, that 'omg you're clearly a hideous mother because your 3 year old is still in diapers' look. That's usually about the time I stick a hand in my bra to retrieve the pacifier he's screaming for, and then put it in his mouth anyway after he drops it on the floor. Because as long as I'm giving them reasons to judge me, might as well go all in.
(If you manage to solve the mystery of potty training an SPD kid I will give you ANYTHING to share the secret.)
Go Little Dude! My daughter is in kindergarten and is JUST pee-trained, and even then she still has accidents about once a week at school and I couldn't tell you how often at home because her time in big girl pants at home is directly related to Mom and Dad's motivation to chase her to the potty. And she won't poop in the potty either. She won't use the potty if we're not home unless I bribe her, so a lot of the time I just stick her in a pull-up or diaper and just avoid the hassle.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure people notice she's in a diaper or pull-up in public sometimes and wonder what our problem is, but I guess at this point they either figure a)she's special needs or b)I'm an idiot.
Even though my little man is 3 months old we've entered the poop zone. I never thought I would be so concerned about pooping but because of his acid reflux it's a daily thing. Has he pooped today, what's it look like, is their blood in it, etc, etc, etc........yes, I have even gone so far as to take pictures of it so his Doc could determine how serious the poop issue is. Fun stuff!
ReplyDeleteWhen I started reading today's post I was reminded of a friend who once did a workshop on How to Poop. As an adult, nothing at all to do with potty training. She was telling us about it, and the thing that stayed with me was that sitting isn't a "natural" position for the human body. It was recommended that one squats on the toilet seat as a way to do 'the perfect poop'
ReplyDeleteI just thought, it's worth a try right? See if Little Dude is willing to climb up on the toilet seat standing, then squat down. then try to poop. Maybe this way his muscles will be in a better position to poop.
I'm at my twin boys toilet training "mission" - we started around 3yrs, they're now over 4 1/2 yrs - where I'm waiting for them to sort their shit out and decide they want to care. They have had days where they stay dry all day, with little imput from me, and other days where I spend it telling them to go toilet, put some pants on, wash your hands please, Oh dear Lord child PUT SOME PANTS ON!! They are not special needs boys. ugh.
Congrats Little Dude - Awesome Progress. And Congrats SRMM for not losing your ever loving mind in the process!! :O)
Since we are talking about poop. I do keep track of when my son has a BM. It seems that if he doesn't have at least one good one a day, he can be a bit...on the Mr. Grumpies side. He's nine and yes, I ask him everyday. He gets a kick out of it, likes to give me the details. How big, how many logs, smell factor. That's a boy for you, right?
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the Little Dude!! Happy Pooing!!
My son (4.5 no sn) uses the technique liltoastfairy suggested. The seat gets footprints, but who cares? It is worth a try for Little Dude.
ReplyDeleteWTG Little Dude!!
ReplyDeleteWe've been fighting the good fight with potty training my 5.5 year old for awhile now...he's mostly pee trained, and about 1/2 pooped trained. We didn't make any significant progress until he was almost 5, and I was 1/2 way to believing that he would be in pull-ups forever. Like everything else, it has been on his schedule...LOL I think the biggest hurdles have been sensory and motor planning issues. I really don't think he realizes he needs to go until it's on it's way out, and he has had a really hard time figuring out how to do either sitting down. He's tall, so peeing standing up isn't a problem, but pooping is a whole different ball game. The look on his face when he pooped on the potty the first time was priceless...half shock, half pride...and worth the wait.
Good luck with your PT journey!!
I agree with liltoastfairy. It worked with my son (3), and also works with my daughter(20 mo) when she's constipated. I know it seems bizarre, but hey- if it works...
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this is magic or coincidence but we could NOT get our son to poop in the toilet until we read him the book "Everyone Poops." It's almost like a light bulb went on over his head. We immediately ordered the book from Amazon so we'd have our own copy. Over two years later, he still asks for this book at bedtime. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteWow, I thought I was the only one with a boy who insisted he couldn't poop sitting down. Mine has no special needs, and will be 4 in three weeks and is FINALLY trained as of this week. He was pee trained for over six months but would poop only in his diaper, and scream and cry that he could not poop sitting down and needed a diaper. I tried EVERYTHING - bribery, cold turkey, fiber, literally holding him on the potty, warm baths...finally went to a pediatric gastroenterologist who has a program for kids like this, he mostly works with ASD kids and though I was initially freaked out by his program - which involved a lot of structure and a lot of laxatives - it worked and now I think I want to marry him, lol.
ReplyDeleteOh, and WTG Little Dude!!! Huge milestone!
ReplyDeleteI remember that we had to send my little brother to grandma's to be poop potty trained. My parents tried a lot of things, including bribery, but it didn't work when they did it. It only worked when he stayed at my grandma's for a week, and somehow a combination of the change in scenery, expectations, her bribery, or something else (she had raised 8 kids) worked.
ReplyDeleteMy problem wasn't going to the bathroom, it was the cleaning up afterward. Given my sensory issues and being a little kid, I always felt like I wasn't clean enough and I often made my parents wipe for me until around kindergarten. Retrospectively, I think having wipes instead of TP would have helped.
Oh, poop. Who knew it would consume such a high percentage of mommydom? I have one who witholds (my five year old- encopresis) and a 3 1/2 year old who isn't trained yet. I'm pretty sure I suck at the whole toilet training thing. Hopefully they'll be trained before college- or Pull-Ups will come in "King" size. Sigh...
ReplyDelete