Monday, December 6, 2010

Official Poll: Douchetopia! Who Is 2010's Douche of the Year?

Wow.  Mom-In-A-Million and I asked for your nominations for biggest douches of 2010, and boy did you have some good ideas.  We've tallied the suggestions and created a list of twenty of the douchiest douches of 2010. 

Poll Instructions: Check off your TOP FIVE douchiest douches who did the most douching in 2010. Please note that there are twenty douchetastic choices offered; you have to scroll down the box to see all your douches.  The poll will remain open all week.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

There were some that I had missed entirely during the year; how did I not know that Tiki Barber left his eight-months-pregnant-with-twins wife for a 23-year-old woman he met at work?  Tiki was a star for the NY Giants, my husband's favorite team, plus he's a twin, and we actually own the book he wrote for children.  So you'd think I would have noticed his name in the news.  Twitter is my usual source for this kind of gossip and all I can say is, Twitter, you let me down.  Please try to do better next time.

There were some stories I had tried to block out of my memory, like Michigan woman Jennifer Petkov, who bullied a dying seven-year-old girl; and Arkansas school board member Clint McCance, who publicly said that "f-gs" should "commit suicide." I feel strongly that in both cases, douchebag is completely inadequate to describe that evil dwelling within.  However, actor and activist George Takei appears in this video in which he says, "Mr. McCance, you are a douchebag," so in they go to our list.

Some of your suggestions weren't included here.  Take heart; we still agree about the douchiness.  However, we decided to leave out minors, most admitted drug addicts, and most political figures. 

The exceptions:

Charlie Sheen, while clearly having some kind of "issues," was left in for partying with a hooker with his kids in the next room.  Also?  By "partying" we mean "locked a hooker in the closet, then ran through a restaurant naked while screaming the n-word."
The two politicians we left in had extenuating douchey circumstances: Sharron Angle, a candidate for U.S. Senate from the state of Nevada, while expressing her opinion that both maternity care and autism should not be covered by insurance, dismissed autism in "air quotes."

We also included Sarah Palin, not for her political views, but for dragging her children through the limelight in a reality show, in a way that the campaign trail did not.  This exposure left her children open to attacks through Facebook, which subsequently became public.  This publicity, in turn, resulted in her children being mocked Internet-wide.

Ladies and gentleman, these are your 2010 top douches.  It was tough whittling it down to just 20, and we know the competition will be fierce to be in the Top 10.  And who will win the coveted Golden Douche trophy for being the 2010 Douche of the Year?  It's up to you to decide!


  1. Those were hard choices! And, I wish I had read your entire post before making my choices! (I missed Tiki's story in the news, too.)

  2. I have to admit that it doesn't get any better than to hear George Takei say douchebag!!!!!! Completely made my day!!!!!!

  3. Choosing only 5 from that excellent list was probably the most difficult decision I will have to make all day!

  4. So hard to limit it to just five!

  5. I wish I could give 3 votes to Kody Brown and 2 to John Gosslin. Or maybe it be the other way around...

    I think I need a voters guide! This is so official, I don't want to waste my votes! :)

  6. i was sad to see that the florida minister that wanted to have a "let's burn the koran" day was not included on the list... total douche

  7. @Athena -- That one and Fr-d Phe-ps, we just didn't want to give any further publicity to. I don't even want to spell out their names because it just adds to their ranking in search engines. They're beyond douche and into Evil territory.

  8. The whole list should be included in the book of Doucheronomy.

  9. This list is great...all worthy contenders! I hope you'll post a photo of the trophy!

    After reading the list, I knew I'd need some kind of rubric with which to judge the contenders, so I tried to limit my votes to those individuals who are douches because they should have known better (for example that awful woman in Michigan...and the one in Nevada), not those who are the accidental-celebrity brand of douche. Still, it was way to hard to pick just five, which is a sad, sad commentary.

  10. That makes my blood boil, that a-hole Clint McCance, telling gays to commit suicide, that's insane. He should have to take care of people with AIDS, and see what it's like firsthand, and kudos for the guy who spoke out against him and called him a douchebag. My only brother passed away from AIDS 21 years ago.... Dec. 27 and I'm standing up for him to this day. This guy needs to go down. And SRMM, thanks for bringing the word AIDS to light, so many people still think it's a gay persons disease.

  11. Oh, man, this was a hard decision! I think I didn't vote for any celebs (meh, their douche-ness is kinda easier to deal with than other people, probably because we expect it of celebs), but the politicians who dismiss autism and tell gay teens to kill themselves? Or grown women who bully seven year olds? DYING seven year olds??!?!! NOT COOL. Ugh. Skeevey jerk wads. But, I will be giggling all day at George Takei saying "douchebag". It was beautiful!

    **giggle** My verification word was theusn, which I found amusing, as a Navy vet! LOL

  12. Soooooo many douches, so little time.

  13. oh dear, oh my...if i keep saying that will it make some of these people just...go away?! *sigh* i'm mostly just embarrassed for most of them. well, that's not true i'm annoyed and disgusted w/ some of them, too. good job narrowing down. i bet that was hard to do!

  14. Do you have any plans to recognize people who are the antithesis of douchebagness, such as the ever eloquent Mr. Takei? I would certainly appreciate having people to look up to...

  15. Oh they are all so douchey how can I decide?! I feel there needs to be a stronger word.

  16. As I'm in Australia I didn't know a few people on this list. Howvever I would have happily given Sarah Palin all 5 votes.

  17. My guess is that all of those people suck in the biggest way, but since I don't know who half of them are, I cannot choose.

  18. Just thought you might enjoy this "douchionary" BFF and I use the word douche probably far too often. His blog is pretty engaging, also, but this is my top fave:

    Douche from the French, shower: 1) A stream of water or air applied to a body part or cavity. 2) An instrument for applying a douche. American Heritage Dictionary, 3rd Edition p255

    Douchiness: The quality of being a douche, whether whole or in part. In scientific notation, exponential quantities of being a penis, cunt, or whore, expressed in powers of douche: total, complete, unbelievable, et al.

    Douchy: An expression describing noticeable levels of douchiness.

    Douche Canoe: What one travels in when immersed in complete douchiness.

    Douche Bag: A human vessel for carrying douchiness, theoretically of infinite size.

    Douche Lord: 1) One to whom other douches defer as having the superior quantity or quality of douchiness. 2) Male having transcended the limits of being a penis.

    Ménage a Douche: Three or more douche bags, usually traveling via douche canoe.

    Douche Master: Douche bag who helps others discover their inner douche.

    Douche Fu: Self defense techniques practiced mainly by douche bags, though can be used to combat douchiness.

    Douche Camp: Congregational location for various douche bags, douche masters, and douche lords to commingle unequal quantities of douchiness until equilibrium of equal douchiness is reached by all. Often produces compete douchiness, requiring douche canoes.

    Douchetastic: Expression of admiration for incorporating douchiness where none was thought possible.

    Douchaccino: The bitter drink of being unalterably stuck in the company of a douche bag.

    Douchage: Informal, all the douchiness one has left in one’s wake, douche bag or not.

    Megadouche: a douche bag exceeding his or her normal ability to douche. Only one is able to fit per canoe.

    Instadouchional: Formalized and traditional modes and practices of douchiness.

    Douchebaggery: Improvisational acts of varying douchiness.

    Douchependant/Douchependancy: Douchbags whose effective douchiness is dependant on proximity of other douche bags. The number and strength of douchiness varies as to whether the needed douchebag is a bag, master, or lord.

    Douchesaur: A limitless megadouche.

  19. That. Was. Exhausting. My brain hurts, my heart is broken, and the only balm I have after reading about those douchebags is a bottled mojito in the fridge. Good grief what is our world coming to???

  20. OMG!! so seeing the list and wanting to vote i had to first look up Jennifer Petkov because i had not heard the i had no idea people could be so absolutly disgusting and horrible!! i dont even think that douchebag is the word for her...i just love the way that she is all sorry and apologetic now that her 'good guy' husband is looking at losing his job! karma is a bitch...i consider myself 'brutally honest' at times but something like this would never ever cross my mind no matter how much i hated that person, wow lady!!

  21. Voted at Mom-in-a-Million's site, but soooooo glad I came here too. Hearing George Takei say douchebag a number of times was awesome! Also, I didn't know about that crazy school board member. I wish the sane and good people would speak up more...the douchebags are getting plenty of publicity! I didn't know about the search thing and spelling out names. I will for sure follow that idea from now on. Thanks!

  22. I am extremely embarrassed to admit that I am in fact from the same city as Jennifer Petkov. I would like to mention that she is a truely disgusting and EVIL person. Her husband actually said "My wife looked HOT on the news." After one of the interviews regarding this situation. Just do a little search for the videos with her name attached and you will see EVIL at its best. I think the city wants to throw her out... Then again I refuse to live there again anyways. I am IN LOVE with the list of douche definitions. That is amazing.

  23. All great choices, though I'm not sure how Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh didn't make the cut (and I wouldn't say they count as "political figures")....


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