I have been very good this year. Well, pretty good. I took care of my family. I even took care of myself, although I may have dropped the f-bomb a few times in the process.
So, you know. I thought maybe you could hook me up?
Here are some things that I wouldn't regift or return:
Not having to think about poop so often. I know that, as a mom, I will think about my children's poop. But does it have to be at the forefront of my thoughts all. the. time? If I could free up some of the brain power currently being used up by poop, I might be able to do something valuable. Like broker a middle East peace accord. Or work on my book. Or maybe just remember to pay my bills. Either way: WIN.
The laundry-folding robot. And possibly the U.C. Berkley student who created it. Clearly, this is a guy getting a Ph.D. in Awesome. Maybe he could build us some other stuff, like a hoverchair and a robot that can find Little Dude's glasses in the morning. Or -- even better -- I bet the U.C. Berkley guy can explain New Math to my kids.
And yes, something is very wrong with me that this laundry robot makes me giggle uncontrollably. It just seems so perplexed by the towels. It's like watching my husband fold laundry. ("Uhhhh, whose shirt is this?")
But wait! U.C. Berkley is also working on a sock-folding robot. I think it's actually the same robot but it's learning new skills or something.
Yeah ... I guess it's learned how to, umm ... turn socks right side out. Yeah. That's it. That or the robotics engineers are a little too lonely. Santa, I think if you get me the towel-folding robot, my husband might like the sock robot.
A Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) for all children. I know. You totally already hooked us up with that right under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. And yet, it doesn't always happen. And when it does happen, all too often it's after parents have spent time, energy, and - -yes -- money, all of which are extremely precious, especially to parents of special needs children.
This thing:
Bacon Cupcakes. Wait, that sounds a little gross. How about French toast cupcakes with maple frosting and a bacon garnish? I imagine it would look something like this:
Thanks, Santa. I heart you.
xoxo,
Mommy
Best. Santa. wish-list. ever.
ReplyDeleteI think the sock-folding robot belongs in the same stores that sell those massagers for those small hard-to-reach spots on your back..
I have pretty much the same wish list, although rather than a laundry folding robot, I'd like a laundry putting away robot. I can get it all washed and folded just fine, but then I have a bunch of laundry baskets full of clothes and a husband and two boys walking in circles because they don't know what to do if they can't find outfits in their dresser drawers.
ReplyDeleteAs for the poop, I wish I had good new for you. My AS son is six, and poop has been an issue since the day he was born. He holds it in, and it's not because we pressured him or tried to force him on the potty. No, this started when he was a newborn. We only had to change like one or two poopy diapers a week--we thought we we so lucky! No, not lucky at all. Turns out that irregularity has continued. I don't have advice for you, other than not to blame yourself if your son does start to "withhold." One thing to try is the prune approach. If you can get Little Dude to eat three prunes with every breakfast, it should at least keep his poop from getting too hard and painful to pass. If he won't eat prunes, sometimes pears work, or raspberries. But the fruit has to be very regular. Sigh. I know! And I'm writing this while I'm eating breakfast.
And FAPE, yes. We are still battling a "good" school for the services we need. We are dying to have teachers with progressive or creative ideas. After being completely spoiled by our preschool sped teacher (she was The Best), we were disappointed to learn that most other teachers just don't get the picture.
you're not the only one that giggles at the towel folding robot! lol
ReplyDeleteJust about busted a gut at the sock folding robot!!!! LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteam i the only one who sees something a tad, ummmm, phallic... in the way that sock robot flips the socks? clearly invented by men...
ReplyDeleteI so need to laundry folding robot. Gosh do I ever need it. I cried when I read the FAPE one. I have autistic bookends (meaning the first and last in our clan of 5 kids) and it is something so many just don't even think about in their daily lives - but it is so important. The funky things carrying away the gnome is just so...??? Adorable? Amusing? Not sure I have the right word for it - but it made my heart smile. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteOK - the sock folding robot reminds me of the episode of Big Bang Theory when Wolowitz brings home the programmable robot and ends up in the ER with it stuck to his, um, self.
ReplyDeleteNo, I totally laughed like a dirty old woman when I saw the sock-folding robot. That is HILARIOUS! And also useful. After all, when it's not folding socks, it can be doing sex-ed PSAs at schools. So, you know, win!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, the perplexed towel folding robot had me giggling at my desk! "Whose shirt is this", indeed... :-D
ReplyDeleteOMG, the Aliens carting off the gnome! I've had a catalog with them in it dog-eared for a year now. I so badly want to get it but can't spend the money on it. I also want the one of the alien ripping apart the flamingo. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteThe folding robot made cry I laughed so much!
ReplyDeleteI am so gonna make me some french toast cupcakes. That is just the most awesome thing I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter has requested that I stop folding her socks because then she just has to take them apart in order to wear them mismatched and it is SO much work. Apparently in our neck of the woods, it is all the craze to have on socks that look nothing like one another. Bizarre, but I will stop folding, as requested. Twist my arm!
ReplyDeleteI want to snuggle up with this post and a cup of cocoa. And some of those cupcakes.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky. I have a laundry folding robot I call SubHub. Whatever they taught him about folding laundry in the military stayed with him.
ReplyDeleteWhat I want for Christmas is a sock-mating robot. Apparently SubHub was out on watch for that lesson.
And, at the risk of committing blasphemy, I don't like bacon. Never have.
P.S. I'm intrigued by what's going on with your 504. We have one set up for Girl Child but the implementation will start in January.
happy christmas!
ReplyDeletelove the robot - reminds me of Rosie from the Jetsons. I'll take two!
i heart you SRMM! you make me smile.