I have been very good this year. Well, pretty good. I took care of my family. I even took care of myself, although I may have dropped the f-bomb a few times in the process.
So, you know. I thought maybe you could hook me up?
Here are some things that I wouldn't regift or return:
Not having to think about poop so often. I know that, as a mom, I will think about my children's poop. But does it have to be at the forefront of my thoughts all. the. time? If I could free up some of the brain power currently being used up by poop, I might be able to do something valuable. Like broker a middle East peace accord. Or work on my book. Or maybe just remember to pay my bills. Either way: WIN.
The laundry-folding robot. And possibly the U.C. Berkley student who created it. Clearly, this is a guy getting a Ph.D. in Awesome. Maybe he could build us some other stuff, like a hoverchair and a robot that can find Little Dude's glasses in the morning. Or -- even better -- I bet the U.C. Berkley guy can explain New Math to my kids.
And yes, something is very wrong with me that this laundry robot makes me giggle uncontrollably. It just seems so perplexed by the towels. It's like watching my husband fold laundry. ("Uhhhh, whose shirt is this?")
But wait! U.C. Berkley is also working on a sock-folding robot. I think it's actually the same robot but it's learning new skills or something.
Yeah ... I guess it's learned how to, umm ... turn socks right side out. Yeah. That's it. That or the robotics engineers are a little too lonely. Santa, I think if you get me the towel-folding robot, my husband might like the sock robot.
A Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) for all children. I know. You totally already hooked us up with that right under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. And yet, it doesn't always happen. And when it does happen, all too often it's after parents have spent time, energy, and - -yes -- money, all of which are extremely precious, especially to parents of special needs children.
Bacon Cupcakes. Wait, that sounds a little gross. How about French toast cupcakes with maple frosting and a bacon garnish? I imagine it would look something like this:
Thanks, Santa. I heart you.