This reader, Meghan, sent me the photos. After I recovered from a Xanax-induced coma, I realized that it was possibly that my other readers might have equally disturbing Dollies of Terror in their homes, too. So I put out a call for your insanity.
And you, dear readers, responded.
Several readers sent me a link to a story about Civil War-era dolls that had recently been x-rayed at a medical center in Virginia. Scientists were trying to determine if they had once been used to smuggle morphine and quinine to soldiers at the front. One of the dolls has a gash in the back of her head where the drugs were removed. I am hopeful that no one had to sit in the Emergency Room with an actual gash to the back of the head, waiting for the x-ray machine.
I have to say, the idea of morphine dolls makes these creepy things way more appealing. Also, it gives me ideas for more products in my line of medicated household items. I could definitely use a Xanax doll. And maybe a Focalin teddy bear for my daughter with ADHD.
I also had more than one reader point me toward the Island of the Dolls in Mexico City. It's, you know, an island. Of dolls. Hanging from the damn trees.
I'm guessing the Island of Dolls is much easier to handle when it's daytime. I could maybe handle it with the sun shining. You couldn't pay me, not even in Xanax, to get me there at night.
But let's get to the reader-submitted Dollies of Terror.
This little lady is missing a hand, most of her eyes, and her mouth. Apparently the last person she killed was a fighter. The fact that Amelia collects stabbity dolls makes me totally want to stay on her good side.
This is a Cinderella doll who has lost her eyeballs, but not her power to see into your soul. Or your bedroom windows. Or your rear-view mirror.
You know those paintings where the person's eyes seem to follow you around the room? I think this doll's eyes really do. But by the time you notice, it's too late. As a bonus, this doll was a gift from her daughter's great-grandmother, who attempted to cover the bald spot with a jaunty New Year's party hat. Because a party hat? Makes every situation okay.
Another gem from our friend Monica, and from the same great-grandmother. Monica hastened to emphasize that this child-sized doll has grown-up-sized breasts. Monica sent me several pictures from her daughter's birthday party, where her daughter received this doll as a gift. The doll is in each photo, in different locations around the room, watching the festivities. Monica would have liked to send me a clearer photo, but sadly, the doll was "accidentally lost" when they moved last year. Let's all hope that the doll can't find Monica now, and that Monica's husband's grandmother doesn't have access to the Internet.
This is like Stabbity Nana version 2.0. She has human hair and human TEETH. Which makes the genuine dead animal pelt on her head and around her neck seem totally not freaky. Nibbly Nana was brought to us by a reader named Meghan, who has miraculously survived living with this doll for years. The doll, the hair, and the baby teeth all belonged to Meghan's great-great-grandmother. The best thing about this doll is how normal she looks until you get into the details.
Thanks to all my readers who sent me links and photos and freaked me the heck out. You're all totally awesome. Special thanks to Susan, the owner of the now-classic Original Stabbity Nana Doll. Happy Halloween, y'all!
Oh, one last minute addition: Boo!
Oh. My. God. It's a Zombie Stabbity Nana. The author of the blog She's Always Write mentioned this one in the comments, so I had to add it in, y'all. Yes, she had it custom-made. On purpose. My guess is that it gives her something to laugh about while she deals with the real scariness of sensory processing disorder, early intervention transition, and the process of trying to figure out if her son is autistic. Me, I'd be eating Cheetos to deal with the stress, but Zombie Stabbity Nana is calorie-free, so kudos to you! p.s. I hope she doesn't kill you. Or steal your Cheetos.