Monday, October 11, 2010

Stabbity Nana Doll

Best email subject line ever: "Stabbity Nana Doll."

I have the most awesome readers ever.  Remember when I  wrote about Six Things That Freak Me Out?  And then more anxieties came bubbling to the surface and I wrote A Few More Things That Freak Me Out?  In the hours that passed between those two posts, a reader named Susan told me that she has an antique doll with real. human. hair.  And the hair is from her dead Nana.

I'm going to let that one sink in for a moment.

Also, Susan clarified that the hair was taken from her Nana while Nana was still living.  It's not like they took it off her dead Nana while she was dead.

Aaaaaand that totally makes it non-creepy, right?

So, obviously, I begged Susan to send me a picture.  Because my only hope to work through my anxieties is to embrace them, right?  And this blog is nothing if not one big fat therapy session for me.

Yesterday I got an email with the subject line: "Stabbity Nana Doll."


Here's another one where you can see that even the family dog is alarmed:


Thanks for allowing me to continue processing my anxiety with 3,000 of my closest friends every day.
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34 comments:

  1. "Hey Grams, I'm thinkin' we cut off some of your hair and make little Susie a doll, whadayasay?"

    Really?

    LOL
    Hartley
    www.hartleysboys.com

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  2. That doll's proportions seem a bit...off (along with other things).

    But, that doll is a walk in the park compared to the other dolls we saw on the scary doll post! LOL

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  3. "Hi, I'm Chuckie. I'll be your best friend for life......."

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  4. As of right now I am growing out my hair so I can have a few of these made for my future grandchildren.

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  5. You didn't even say anything about her TEETH! Hello?! Freaky teeth much?

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  6. oh gosh. This has nightmare-nana written all over it! Chucky ain't got nuttin on this doll. I bet her eyes follow you and you can hear a voice in your head saying, "eat, eat eat! You need something to eat!" oh wait, that's only my nana probably.

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  7. OMG, I am crying laughing reading these comments. Especially "Freaky teeth much?"

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  8. oh, now, I'm laughing/crying..."if you hear tappity tap tap at night..run" and "dagger ..prolly in here."
    I love this...

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  9. A stabbity nana doll would be smart enough to remove her shoes pre-prey-stalking, I would think.

    Shudder.

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  10. Ok, so have you ever seen trilogy of terrors?This doll has nothing on those little crazy devil toothed troglodytes!This damn doll is creepy! Did NANA hate the grandchild? Was she putting her hair on that creepy McCreepster doll as to save a place for her soul to reside until the end of days?YIKES!I want a picture o the doll with the hair swept the other way, I have a feeling when you move the Farrah flip..danger lurks!I say someone burn the doll and then capture the demon descending on video!Sweet dreams!

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  11. @TruthfulMommy, No, I can't watch any horror movies because real life is already far too frightening for me.

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  12. Oh my word @Truthful Mommy - I thought I was the only one scared for life by Trilogy of Terors. And as if that video (viewed at the tender age of like 10!) wasn't enough, last year I was reading the book I Am Legend, and after the title story, there's a series of other short stories by the author, and the Trilogy of Terror story was one of them!! I didn't even realize it until I was halfway through and I was freaking out all over again just reading it.

    Dolls are creepy. Unless they are just floppy raggedy dolls and you know they can't really stand on their limbs and chase you (at least, and be taken seriously!), they are just creepola!!!

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  13. You missed the teeth. It's subtle, but oh so creepy. They're slightly bared. And they all look like little tiny canines. Not a normal-sized incisor to be seen.

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  14. Somebody already beat me to the teeth. CURSES.

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  15. @Walldraigle - You're right, I *totally* missed the teeth until adventuresfromcloud8 pointed them out. Pretty sure she's going to eat your feet while you sleep, one tiny nibble at a time.

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  16. Stabbity doll owner here! Nana was actually very nice. Although I neglected to mention that this thing sat in the corner of our dining room for many years, in an antique highchair... watching us eat! So my parents might have had a few screws loose (but I already knew that!).

    Thanks for the laughs, Y'ALL!

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  17. PS, my word verification for that post was "xacto"..... as in, this doll is coming after all of y'all with an XACTO blade! ;-)

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  18. Sweet. Maybe she's got a boxcutter up in those bloomers. As for having that doll watch me eat ... I would certainly be thinner than I am now.

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  19. she looks a little constipated, but definitely scary as hell!

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  21. Did you realize that she has TEETH! Did you see her teeth????

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  23. So. Very. Creepy.

    The only thing that would make the toy we call "Evil Elmo" any scarier is if it had my Nana's hair.

    And FYI, our cat was always scared of it too.

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  24. OH MY GOD!!! My post today is about anxiety and my mind running away with me, so yeah, stabbity Nana Doll is really gonna help quelling my crazy.
    That's freaky. Disney Child of Glass freaky.

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  25. That's quite possibly the most disturbing thing I've read all week. True, it's only Monday, but still.

    I have a Nanna and she's 84 but I don't think I'd ever snatch a lock of her hair and put it on a doll. But my Mother--yeah I'd do her! haha

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  26. I am your #500 follower because this stabbity Nana Doll post was just that off the hook!Creepy!

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  27. @Truthful Mommy - Stabbity Nana and 500 followers in one day! Awesomeness.

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  28. Holy. crap. I will have nightmares tonight for sure!

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  29. My husband says it looks like she is growling! Nightmares!

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  30. I can still remember this movie: Dolls http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolls_(1987_film)

    Shudder, shudder, shudder.

    And stabity nana doll is creepy and wrong.

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  31. I have a very similar doll...with the real hair, and, get this, my great-grandmother's TEETH! Two lovely, slightly rotten (considering the lack of dental care in those days) chompers. My husband has demanded that this piece of family history be relegated to the closet. So there she lies, under a pile of sweaters, safely hidden from view, and the possibility of late night hunting.

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  32. @Anonymous -- OH MY GOD I'm begging you to send me a pic of that. Please? Pretty please? Email me at Mommy@starkravingmadmommy.com!

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  33. Here's some Stabbity Nana Doll music:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgfklKnOg4w

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  34. oh my god. . . the doll has her nana's real hair AND looks like a freaky chucky doll about to come to life and kill and kill and kill?? That made me laugh out loud.

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