Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Bratz: I Hatez Theez Dollz

Oh, how I hate Bratz dolls.  I hate the use of "z" to indicate plural, their collagen-injected lips, and their clothes.  The Bratz baby dolls in particular look like they've been playing dress-up in Cher's closet.

Before I get a whole bunch of pro-Bratz hate mail, let me say this: I know that as parents, we are their role models, not a toy.  This skanky toy itself doesn't damage their brains and it probably doesn't even damage their self-esteem.  It's not actually offering my kids ecstasy in the girls' bathroom at a rave, it just looks like it's going to.

I'm really not judging the parents that let these things in their houses.  It's sort of like how some people actually like antique dolls.  Not my thing, but hey, you go for yours.  I've explained to my kids that different things freak out different moms.  For example, at one friend's house, they can play with Bratz but aren't allowed to jump up and down inside.  At our house, they can jump up and down until they pass out, but no Bratz.  Every mom has their triggers, right?

Mine is the damn Bratz.  I have enough anxiety as it is without this looking at me:

  
I understand that they are "fashion dolls" and, inherently, are going to be more about fashion than, say, nuclear physics.  It's the company's right to make these god-awful things and it's other people's right to buy them.  Fine.  But seriously, who in their right mind thinks that black panties with red satin bows go on a baby?

I was all set to shut the hell up about Bratz.  They've done their time in rehab or whatever and now they're back out, showing less skin and with slightly less glopped-on makeup.  But then I saw those damn Halloween costumes and I threw up in my mouth.  So basically I'm back to hating everything MGA Entertainment has done, does now, and ever will do.

Here's the thing: when I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to have Barbie dolls, because my mom felt they were "sexist."  It was the 70s and we lived in New York City, and therefore everything in my life revolved around Marlo Thomas and Free To Be You and Me.  Groovy.


Thirty years later, I won't let my daughters have Bratz dolls.  I look at Barbie and think, you're not so bad, are you?  Barbie's fully clothed.  Sometimes she's a pediatrician, and those newborn baby dolls are never wearing thong underwear.  So yay for that.  And every four years, a business-suited Barbie even runs for President, bringing with her a briefcase, buttons, and information about her platform (education and the environment).  She even comes with those neighbor-annoying weeds of November, political lawn signs.  And my mother had a problem with that?  Okay, sure, her body is totally out of proportion and if she were an actual human, she'd topple over on those tiny, deformed feet and toothpick legs due to the weight of her bosoms.  But really, she's not so bad, relatively speaking.

Here's what worries me the most.  My mother didn't let me play with Barbies, and I won't let my daughters play with Bratz.  Can you imagine what kind of horrific crack whore doll my daughters aren't going to let their daughters play with?  Maybe something like this:


::Shudder::

Side note: Did anyone else notice that when the kids on Sister Wives play with dolls, they have four Barbies and one Ken in the doll house?  No lie.  And when the little girls were fighting over the Ken doll, Wife #4 said they had to share him, the way the mommies share daddy.  Way to take the teaching moment, Wife #4!

48 comments:

  1. I HATE Bratz dolls with a passion. When my daughter was two, I had to buy her a doll with hair because she stimmed with her own. I was hoping she'd transfer this habit to a doll. The only larger-sized dolls that they had at Target with hair were the friggin' Bratz dolls. I was horrified! I couldn't believe they were marketing those whore dolls to children. Now that my daughter is 6, I still refuse to buy them for her. I can deal with Barbie also. But I'm not buying Bratz for her. Ever.

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  2. Whoa! Seriously, Sister Wives said that? I need to get TLC.

    Also, HATE Bratz. They are horrible.

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  3. What creeped me out even more was when Wife #4 was coaching her kids to call the other wives "Mommy Meri, Mommy Christine, etc,etc." And then forced her daughter to call the husband guy "daddy."

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  4. Bratz.. ugh... horrid... nasty. Someone gave my daughter one for her 4th birthday. I threw it in the trash as soon as the party was over.

    As for the kids on Sister Wives... I saw that episode with the Barbies and Ken. To quote my daughter's friend... I was "shakin' my head". I haven't seen the last two episodes... they're still sitting on my dvr. I gotta get to 'em this week.

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  5. I'm thinking.... you won't be getting too much hate mail from other Mom's about your passionate dislike of those repulsive Bratz dolls! My 7 year old daughter agrees that Bratz are a"BAD"!! I won't let them walk in my house. Disgusting!

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  6. I'd like to know if you actually do get pro-bratz hate mail. I'd love to hear how someone could defend these things.

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  7. Upon seeing the TV ad, my 8 year old son said "why would they want to play with a toy called a brat? We don't play with brats."

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  8. Pleeeeeeease post your Bratz hatemail! HATE MAIL IS HILARIOUS!

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. I have three words... their acronym: DSL
    That is and has always been my issue with these things.
    Children's dolls with Dick Sucking Lips. Whuck?

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  11. I hate bratz dolls and won't buy them. My daughter has some barbies, but I knit clothes for it. Where did you find the hooker dolls in the top pic? I looked on the Bratz website and most of the stuff there is shockingly, well dressed.

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  12. Bratz removable feet/shoes - that's just freaky!!!

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  13. @Kara -- Google "Bratz Babyz" or "Bratz Babyz Twinz"

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  14. We have two small Bratz dolls... they came with some Happy Meals years ago and are fully dressed and look more like Barbie. Even though I thoroughly hate Bratz, I have never really had to keep them away because my girls thankfully seem to be naturally repulsed by them.

    I worked for a large retail chain for four years ordering toy merchandise and you would be surprised to see what else was out there when Bratz first hit the market. I always hated ordering Bratz, but Barbie could get pretty skanky too. There were plenty of "fashionable" options for Barbie that most stores never bothered to carry.

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  15. a few things shocked me in your post... :)
    -did you really find that crack doll image online somewhere? and if you did- what the heck was it from? and why? and... and... whuck?
    -how in the world, especially since the majority of moms seem to hate bratz, do they still have a market share? SOMEONE must be buying them... maybe secretly? maybe they are for moms who wish THEY looked like that (you know- instead of wearing yesterday's sweatpants because you didnt get the laundry done this week yet...) there are times when it might be fun to rock the Bratz look in the bedroom a night :)
    -and Sister Wives... i have also been unable to look away from the train wreck... i would love the extra hands around the house, but seriously- 4 women sharing my husband? i mean, he must get a headache some nights right?

    ok... stopping there :)

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  16. @Lauren -- Heh heh. I Googled "crack whore Barbie" hoping for an image, and sure enough, there it was.

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  17. LMAO! I won't buy Bratz dolls for my kids. Half of them look like hookers or strippers and I'd like to avoid that as a "I wanna be" cool kid type future choice in my children's lives.

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  18. HAHA YES! I saw them and they had the four moms fighting over the dad. That's just jacked.

    And the Bratz? Dammit those girls are hideous.

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  19. The people who are buying them are the same people who buy their daughter clothing with stuff written across the butt. in sequins. I don't mean to dress the kids in blue denim jumpers but I just don't understand why people would WANT to call attention to a young girls butt.

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  20. I have pounded into my 7 year old's head that "you are not playing with bratz because I said so". I haven't yet taught her the whole 'skanky-ass-crack-whore' phrase yet.

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  21. @Jennifer -- When my twins were 2, I bought them some corduroy overalls from Old Navy. One of the back pockets had a tiny little heart on it. My husband had a conniption fit.

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  22. @Penny, LOL, I don't call them crack whores in front of my kids either! I did explain that one reason they can't have them is that the dolls are dressed in a way that I don't approve of, and wear way too much makeup. I think I did use the word "trashy."

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  23. My mom also refused to buy us Barbie dolls (even after much begging) because she didn't want us to have body image issues, until we were 12 and 10 and she decided that we were seeing them everywhere and playing with them at our friends' houses anyway. So she bought me a black Barbie for my birthday, as if to say, "Fine, if I have to give in to the soul-destroying fembots, I'm sneaking in a lesson on race equality."

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  24. Bratz dolls - I think the previous comments sum up the general disgust. ew.
    I am happy to say that my daughter (turns 6 next week) doesn't want anything to do w/bratz - maybe b/c of not wanting to play with bratty kids herself, or maybe b/c they are skimpy dressed. When she went to YMCA camp for a week this summer, they said the 5-6 year old girls should wear 2 piece swimsuits to help avoid accidents in the bathroom. I was shocked. I understand though, the counselors were not allowed in the stalls or to help w/any dressing. I took her out for her first 2 piece suit purchase and am thrilled to share that she picked a tankini style saying "Oh, it has to cover my belly button! I don't want it to get cold." I told her yes, ALWAYS keep your belly button covered, good rule for life.
    It isn't always easy to take the right path, but it is ALWAYS worth it!!!
    Absolutely thoroughly enjoy your blog! :o)

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  25. As soon as these little whore dolls hit the shelves we began training my now 9 year old that they were not okay. She now hates them as much as us! lol

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  26. I have explained to my girls (all under 6) that Bratz are "innapropriate & dress in a way that is not acceptable for their age". Now whenever we pass them in a store the girls will repeat that phrase- I've seen it really freak some parents out.

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  27. do parents really buy these for their kids? Or is MGM kept in business solely by the creepy Pedobears? Just askin....

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  28. I have 3 girls they are 13,12 and 6.When my older girls were little they had a minor interest in them..I said no those are scuzzy looking and that was that. Never been an issue. And I have to say about the costumes..they should be illegal.It is absolutly indecent to dress your daughter in lingerie style costumes..I told my girls don't even bother EVER asking for those type costumes..and they don't!!

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  29. I've been lucky that neither of my girls liked these stupid Bratz dolls anyway. They think they're ugly even without my saying anything. I'm glad I never had to have the argument about why they're a terrible doll. They look like hookers, for heaven's sake!

    They, especially the oldest, always liked Barbie, and those are fine to me. They're dressed decently and some even have very pretty dresses (princess).

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  30. My ex husband's mother thinks Bratz dolls are "adorable!" I let her know pretty quickly (back when I was still married to her son...and thankfully he agreed with me) that if she EVER gave a Bratz doll to my daughter, she would be taking it with her when she left or I would be throwing it in the trash.

    Also, my former next door neighbor bought them by the dozen for her daughter because they were "so cute".

    So there IS a market for them....but I question the mental clarity of the people who create the demand. Just.No.

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  31. That last paragraph got me thinking...If they start making a Sister Wives doll set I'm going to throw in the towel on humanity.

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  32. I am laughin so hard my girls keep asking what's up. I want 3 wives.

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  33. there are things i go out of my way to make sure my kids don't see. and i would imagine that once my baby girl is older, these dolls will be one of them! and the sister wive's kids playing barbies like that was enough to make me throw up in MY mouth....

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  34. Gaffaw!! I LOVE that you just googled Crack whore barbie and there she was!!

    Yay for the interwebs :OD

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  35. I totally agree that these dolls are a nightmare in so many ways. However, I don't actually think they do much in the way of sway our kids one way or another. I wouldn't buy them either and my mom was anti barbie. And when I finally got one, I knew she looked like a freak. I mean I'm not a moron, no one else I knew or had seen in my ENTIRE life looked like that. I kind of think kids do, at least on some level get that things like the bratz dolls are just bizarre, even if they do play with them.

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  36. Great post-you always make me laugh no matter how outrageous the topic!

    I have to agree with Kristal identification of DSL, and Stacey's suggestion pedophilia- oriented manufacturing.

    The only market these dolls could possible have is 15 year old boys (dreaming of... ahem, easy conquests) or for a pedophile's stimulation.

    Disgusting! Those things look like they should be sold in an adult toy store--like the ones depicted on tv with the blacked out windows with the neon XXX signs offering 25 cent peep shows!

    Not personally knowing anyone who actually owns these dolls, I'd have to suggest some deep sole searching to anyone who would suggest giving them to children! A grandma who thinks they're "adorable"!?! Kalr3, I'm right there with you shuddering!

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  37. I have forbidden them in our house so my 6 year old told me "When I grow up and have my own house, I'm going to buy ALL of the Bratz dolls."

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  38. I hate Bratz, and tolerate Barbie like most of you here. However, I am kind of ashamed to admit that my now nearly 11 year old daughter needed a new electronic toothbrush a couple years ago, and the stars were aligned crazily enough that the only one at the store we were at for girls was a Bratz toothbrush. So, in the interest of dental hygiene and not getting my daughter a roaring dinosaur toothbrush that she complained about as being a boy toothbrush...loudly...I threw the Bratz thing in the cart. I don't like waste either, so we kept the bratz toothbrush for a reasonably length of time and swapped it out for a generic plain pink brush as soon as it was reasonable. I shudder at sharing this memory, truly. :)

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  39. I. hate. Bratz dolls. No hate mail from me! Your pic of Crack Whore Barbie still has me laughing!!! But it's soooo horribly true : (

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  40. why is it that the posts I actually have something to say on are written while I'm taking a break from the 'net?

    Well, anyway, all I wanted to say was that I, as a rather young but still adult woman, think bratz are cute, cool, and kinda nifty. For me. To put with with 'Mommy thinks it's cool' stuff like cobalt blue glass, japanese plushies, and random figurines.

    Not for my little people to play with. By the time I'd consider my bratlings old enough to play with those little skanky things, they'd be well past the age of playing with dolls.

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  41. Once upon a long time ago, I saw an interview with the woman who created Bratz. The name was a term they use for their kids (kinda like how some of us refer to our kidlings as demon-spawn, yanno?) and she had intended them to be marketed to girls who were getting too old for Barbie, but still young enough to want to play with dolls. She never liked them being marketed to younger girls.

    I, personally, kinda like them, but I do agree that the way they dress the "Babyz" is disgusting. Any time I see a "baby" dressed in something I could buy from an adult entertainment store, it makes me shudder. I did buy one for my daughter a long, long time ago, when they had the 'mini' Bratz (regular 'teen' Bratz doll about the size of a Happy Meal toy) after she got one as a goodie from the gastro clinic at Children's Hospital in Seattle. She wasn't thrilled with them, and went back to playing with her matchbox cars in about 5 minutes. I've given up on buying her dolls period. :D

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  42. HAHA! I'm late to the party but just in case you still look here SRMM, my sister has 4 girls, my mom still has 2 in the house under the age of 12. Bratz dolls are ALL the rage, and AH. Nothing worse then going to take a shower and having to remove footless naked hoe dolls from the tub. Mom hates them, my sister buys them with her own money or gets her dad to buy them(I'm pretty sure he's never LOOKED at the dolls though...). Stuff like Bratz make me pretty happy I'm having a boy... Haha. (although upon asking my nieces they all think the Bratz babies are over kill- except the 3 year old, but she might not have understood the question :-P)

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  43. wat is up with you people ? you've got alot to say say about brazt but not barbie? Brazt may not be your favorite doll but it is mine. i grew up playing with them and there alot of fun. what other people
    choose to do with them shouldn't be your concern. if they ha big lips oh well thats not your problem. i would rather play with a doll that has big lips vs a big as and tits(barbie).you may be right about the babyz but they do sell alternate clothes or you can make your own! You people seriously need to lay off. if you dont like them dont buy them dumb asses and that should be the end of it.all this hate mail is very aggitating and should stop.

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  44. The Bratz dolls are not supposed to marketed towards very young children, but to 12-15 year old girls, therefore encorperate more adult forms of dress. Also, they are far more racially diverse than any other fashion doll available, promoting racial equality, which is very important. Most importantly though, they promote accepting all different types of fashion, such as boho, punk, goth, indie ect and dis-encourage discrimination to these kinds of people, a problem dolls such as barbie only contribute towards. (seriously, pink is not and never should be the only colour dolls clothes are available in.) Bratz dolls do have exaggerated proportions, but they are TOYS, not scale models of human beings, and are not supposed to be realistic. The exaggerated features are similar to CARTOONS, and not intended to be interpreted otherwise. Lastly, when children are presented with a doll, the first thing they usually do is change their clothes, and most dolls usually end up nude anyway, so why are you people fussing about a couple of crop tops and low ride jeans. (What the **** is slutty about jeans anyway?)

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  45. Wow people now aday.you'd rather brain was your children then let them look and see other options for the outside world.there not gonna be kids for ever and what are you going to do wen they get older and get out and experience life.your gonna go around holding their hand saying it's not okay to like bratz.i love them and my daughter's love them to.their all about self acceptance and feeling good about yourself.so instead of being open and letting your kids learn and see different things you'd sit and tlk about a doll.and if you wnna get technical large baby dolls are teaching little girls how to be a mom and last i checked bratz never mad a pregnant doll did they.ohh but barbie did

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  46. I never like the bratz dolls either, they dont have a nose. My daughters thought the dolls looked like aliens.

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  47. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICK SUCKING FEMINIST BITCH! You had NO RIGHT to say the Bratz were whores! Or anything else! I LOOOOOVE THEM AND OTHERS, INCLUDING MONSTER HIGH, AND I'LL NEVER STOP! (Even though I don't mind Barbie as much, really.) BUT SERIOUSLY, JUST, UUUUHHGGGG! QUIT IT!

    Hate, and hope you die, your ONLY TRULY FAITHFUL ruler of the world,
    Rachel Mako </3 D:<
    p.s. all the bull crap about Bratz commenters, watch your backs...

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