Brain-Washing: More Fun Than Laundry

You know what's a really fun activity to do with your kids?  Brain-washing them.  I don't mean in some weird cult-y way that involves prairie dresses and upswept hairdos.  I mean, you know, the fun way. 

So one of my ongoing psychological experiments with the Young Carnivores involves basically brain-washing them into only liking good music.  By good music, of course, I mean music I like.  This translates to absolutely no Justin Bieber* or Miranda Cosgrove but lots and lots of 80s New Wave.  Totally. 

Here's the thing: we all do it.  Our parents did it too.  And eventually we couldn't stomach any more Sundays with Sinatra or whatever, and we dyed our hair pink and listened to too much Depeche Mode.  Or was that just me?

Anyway, it's super fun.  I know it won't last, and eventually they'll go all Alex P. Keaton on me.  They'll find some music that speaks to them and to me it will be the sound of tiny trolls hammering nails into my spinal cord.  (Sorry about all that Depeche Mode, Dad.)  In the mean time, there is nothing so exquisite as watching my munchkins rock out to Blondie's Maria.

Or watching them put on a puppet variety show that includes a Devo appearance.  "Look Mommy, it's Mark Mothersbaugh!"  Do you have any idea how proud I am that my daughter knows that before Yo Gabba Gabba there was Whip It?

Our iPod does include some non-80s tunes.  I don't want them to be social outcasts or anything.  But if we're going to listen to "Single Ladies," we're also going to learn that Beyonce owes a little Respect to Aretha Franklin.  And if we're going to listen to the Black Eyed Peas sing "I Got A Feeling" for the 30,000th time, it's going to be back-to-back with James Brown's I Got The Feeling.

This all leads to the nice people at iTunes making some really awesome recommendations for me.  They're so right most of the time it's like they're in. my. head.  And then they step over the line and it goes horribly awry:

Oh my gosh, iTunes, how did you know I would like The Knack?  And Dexy's Midnight Runners?  Yes, please.  The Clash?  iTunes, you're my new BFF. 

Lady Gaga?  OK, well, maybe ... 

Lil Scrappy?  Wait -- what? 

Sorry iTunes, you totally got that one wrong.  Yes, I just bought more Black Eyed Peas but Lil Scrappy sounds like that lame Scooby Doo spin-off.  And that was just Bad 80s.  So no thanks.  I can't have my kids listening to Bad 80s.  They have to listen to good music.  You know, music I like.

*Cookie's reaction to seeing Justin Bieber perform on the Nick Kids' Choice Awards: "Meh.  I'd rather listen to the Talking Heads."  I just about burst into tears of happiness.