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Today is Autistic Pride Day. I know what you're thinking: Didn't I just see a bunch of copied-and-pasted status updates on Facebook about that a few months ago? Nope. That was World Autistic Awareness Day, which is April 2 every year. World Autistic Awareness Day is about letting you know that autism exists. Autistic Pride Day is about letting you, the neuro-typical person (or "NT" to us hipsters) know that autism can be kind of awesome.There is a whole world of autistic pride and politics that I'm just learning about. Autistic Pride Day is promoted by Aspies for Freedom, an organization that pushes not just for autism awareness, but awareness that autism has both advantages and disadvantages.
Let me just say this: I'm pretty sure the people at Aspies for Freedom are talking about people with fairly high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome. If you're the mom of a severely autistic child who's still nonverbal at age 6 and never smiles at you, you're probably ready to tell the nice people at Aspies for Freedom that neurodiversity can suck it.
Little Dude is more along the lines of the high-functioning Asperger's. And I can certainly say there are distinct advantages and disadvantages to our situation.
In the spirit of Autistic Pride Day, here is my Top Ten list of Asperger's advantages and disadvantages.
Disadvantage #10 Little Dude eats the same thing, every day.
Advantage #10 Meal-planning is a snap.
Advantage #9 May grow up to be the next Frank Lloyd Wright.
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Disadvantage #8 Obsessive-compulsive behavior means we can't leave the room unless the television and the power strip are turned off.
Advantage #8 Asperger's Syndrome is the new "green."
Advantage #7 Maybe other kids will think he's beatboxing.
Disadvantage #6 Despite having advanced vocabulary, Little Dude's speech is sometimes very unclear.
Advantage #6 Woman behind me in check-out line doesn't realize Little Dude is talking about testicles.
Advantage #5 Does not make eye contact with anyone at Walmart.
Disadvantage #4 "Motor-planning deficit" means he struggles to take off his own shoes.
Advantage #4 "Unusually intense, narrow area of interest" means he can beat adults at Wii Lego Star Wars.
Disadvantage #3 Talks incessantly about Legos, Star Wars, and Lego Star Wars.
Advantage #3 No longer talking about Dora.
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Disadvantage #2 Sometimes says insensitive or inappropriate things.
Advantage #2 These things are hilarious.
Disadvantage #1 Random muttonheads Concerned strangers ask me if I think he'll be ready to potty-train sometime soon, why is he flapping his hands, and oh, you mean he's like Rain Man?
Advantage #1 Concerned strangers ensure endless supply of material for this blog.
hi my son has aspergers and i know the feeling
ReplyDeleteAlthough never "diagnosed" with any particular syndrome I recognize Asperger in alot of my hubby's behavior. For 25 years I've told people, yes I married Rain Man. The thing is, the charming, ecentricities of your four year old Little Dude are just as charming & ecentric in my 50 year old dear hubby.
ReplyDeleteHe's a man of strong convictions & will happily share them, sometimes whether his victim is ready or not. His mechanical skills are amazing, he can build or assemble almost anything & scoffs at directions. He has a heart of gold & thinks it's his responsibility to care for & protect all of my single girlfriends. (whether they feel they need care & protection or not, sometimes.) I wouldn't trade him for anyone.
Love love love your blog. :)
@mary, thanks for reading!
ReplyDelete@RobynK, thanks! It's so good to hear about men like your husband.
That. is. HYSTERICAL!!!
ReplyDeletefunny
ReplyDeleteI recognize a lot of myself in your (very entertaining) pro/con list, I've grown out of my Lego phase but at age 25 Star Wars is still in the upper ranks of my interests. Be prepared for a lifetime of empire vs. rebels ;-)
ReplyDeleteI love, love, love, this post! Way awesome! I have a six year old girl (who I blog about) who is an Aspie! She's a really great kid. I created my blog because I wanted to celebrate her quirkiness. I'm not always successful, but I try to keep my blog light and fun too. I'm now following you and looking forward to future posts.
ReplyDeleteas a person with aspbergers... i am offended by calling a person with this disorder an "aspie"
DeleteI still collect LEGO blocks -- one of the benefits of living near the Mall of America is the cool "fill your own bucket" option.
ReplyDeleteI found numerous ways to use LEGO and crayons in university courses and during writing workshops. People forget how valuable it is to explore, no matter our ages.
Plus, I can sit for hours sorting the LEGO collection.
@Cheryl, thanks! Following you too now! I'm all about celebrating quirkiness.
ReplyDelete@C.S. Wyatt, Agreed. I think if more adults spent some time playing with Legos, this would be a better, more relaxed world.
@Marijn, We've turned the Star Wars into a whole-family bonding thing. I had only seen the original three movies, but now I've seen all of them several times, and we all watch Clone Wars together. :)
ReplyDelete"...we can't leave the room unless the television and the power strip are turned off."
ReplyDeleteAnd all is Right and Proper. A useful habit to acquire given the preponderance of wooden dwellings in Texas.
I have found some Heathens for you to go play with. They do have guns, though.
Disadvantage #6 Despite having advanced vocabulary, Little Dude's speech is sometimes very unclear.
ReplyDeleteAdvantage #6 Woman behind me in check-out line doesn't realize Little Dude is talking about testicles.
I laughed so loud at this one that my husband could hear me across the room.
Our little guy often has unclear speech as well. Fortunately, this gives us the opportunity to improvise and pretend he is really pontificating about "PEANUTS", instead of... well... a body part he has suddenly taken a special interest in sharing with the world!
I also loved #2... of course that's probably because I tend to laugh inappropriately myself but hey, why not embrace the humor?
I'm an Aspie Mom and the Mom of two kiddos (10 and 4) diagnosed on the spectrum a couple years ago and I really enjoy the humor in your blog. I recently started a blog of my own called Aspierations and if you don't mind, I'd love to reference this great post of yours in a future blog.
Best wishes,
Karen
Karen,
ReplyDeleteI don't mind at all! Glad you enjoyed it.
I love the list. :-) And your blog; I've added it to the Autism Blogs Directory.
ReplyDelete@KWombles, thank you!!!!
ReplyDeleteokay - this is my third comment to you over the last couple weeks - U R HILARIOUS! Thanks so much for keeping me in stiches... love it and will continue reading and telling all my friends about it too!
ReplyDeleteLove love love it! I totally agree with your comment about Aspies for Freedom...sometimes I think that they forget that not everyone is as high-functioning as them.
ReplyDeleteIn a similar vein, I posted my Top 10 Benefits to Having a Child with Autism
(http://www.autismarmymom.com/2010/04/top-ten-benefits-of-having-child-with_07.html)
10. You have an automatic excuse to get out of social gatherings that you really didn't want to attend anyway.
9. Sometimes I look so haggard, I get a senior citizen discount.
8. The time I've spent reading labels automatically qualifies me for a food science degree.
7. Get to save time by speaking exclusively in acronyms, like ABA, GFCF, IEP, SCD, DAN, RDI...
6. I can't possibly be expected to lose weight or get to the gym with all of the stress I'm under.
5. No need to waste your money on (choose any that apply): GPS, calculators, encyclopedias, alarm clocks, Hooked on Phonics...
4. Get to learn cool new words that you never knew existed in the English language like "perseveration", "echolalia", and "casein".
3. Sometimes I get mistaken for celebrities...like Phil Spector or Nick Nolte.
2. When our kids misbehave in public it's because they have a serious neurological disorder. What's your kid's excuse?
1. Our kids are soooooooo much cuter than those FLTK's (Funny-Looking Typical Kids).
You gotta laugh!
I think you are a comedic genius and extend the utmost kudos for maintaining an awesome, grounded sense of humour in the face of this ongoing experiment we call motherhood. Although not facing some of your particular challenges, I have friends that are and you put a very funny spin on all of it! Congratulations and keep the laughs coming! They may be the only thing standing between me and finishing off a bottle of wine during naptime! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks! Hopefully this isn't *just* an autism blog, but a blog for anyone (parent or not) who needs a break and a laugh. Everyone's challenges are different -- we all need to rant.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes refer to myself as a half-aspie. I do believe that were it not for my autistic traits, I would be _really_ goodfernuthin. (I have the slacker nature.) I might still have a membership at AFF, but haven't looked in there for quite a while. Gareth and Amy seem awfully quick with the banhammer, and sometimes a bit humorless.
ReplyDelete@Justthisguy, thanks for reading. I'm still in the stage of just reading everything I can, taking in all opinions, hopefully steering clear of any politics in the various autism groups.
ReplyDeletethere is a site named cafemom.com and theres a group from 30 something moms to moms of autistic children and one group i belong to ( i have an 8 year old with moderate autism) has this post you know your child has autism when: there are over 400 replys all with adventures of autism. like you know when your child has autism when you find your child in walmart "fixing" the shelfs or you know your child has autism when you wake up in the middle of the night and step into a line of matchbox cars sorted by size color and type. its to funny ty for putting a light side to autism!
ReplyDelete" If you're the mom of a severely autistic child who's still nonverbal at age 6 and never smiles at you, you're probably ready to tell the nice people at Aspies for Freedom that neurodiversity can suck it."
ReplyDeleteActually, I have both. A high-functioning type and a severely-autistic now-seven year old and I never told the Neurodiversity folks to suck it. I am basically a Neurodiversity folk. Sorta. I don't' really align with any group. But even with all of his challenges I still get what the ND folks are trying to say. They just don't think anything needs to be changed. Surprisingly, neither do I.
You've got a refreshing outlook on this stuff. Glad I found it.
I loved #10 because for my guy all foods had to be yellow (in honor of Spongebob). Life became interesting trying to find different yellow foods.
ReplyDelete#9 reminds me of a TV show we watched recently where someone actually made a real house of Legos with a pet cat and everything. Like they said, "If it falls down, you just rebuild it."
#7,6,& 2 literally made me LOL!
Every year (for the past 3 years) we run a Lemonade stand at the end of our yard. It's called "CJ's Stand" (doubles both as the literal stand and our stand for Autism). All the proceeds go to Autism Speaks. Some of my Autie mom friends offered *constructive critism* on this because they believe that Autism Speaks puts all their effort towards a 'cure'. My friends (like me) all have high-functioning kids who believe that Autism is part of what makes their kids rock. They don't understand why I would offer support to a 'cure'. Because not all Autistic kids are high-functioning. Because there are moms who cannot hold their children because 'touch hurts'. Because there are moms who will never hear their child say, "I love you." Because I saw a documentary about a family with two severely Autistic boys who are completely unaware that the other exists. That's who we're taking a stand for. My son does not need a cure. He just needs patience from others.
@Kat, I get it. Like The Domestic Goddess, I am *all* about neurodiversity. My AS kid rocks. I just needed to acknowledge that for some moms, the situation itself does not rock.
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT! So true! I came up with a similar list since I am a glass half full girl surrounded by dry wells.
ReplyDeleteRight on! One of my downs would be the teasing and looks my boy has to endure at times. The up is that he doesn't realize right now what it means and he keeps on being his sweet, friendly, odd self which drives the other kids crazy. But the down of that up is that he doesn't understand why Mommy looks like she wants to wring the schmidt out of someone and their parent.
ReplyDeleteLeigh Ann
I also have an Aspie and you blog had me ROFL! I think that we all need to find our own way to cope with the daily struggle of having a autistic kid. My son provides me with hilarious material everyday as well. I think it is all in the attitude and humor we find in our given situation. If I didn't laugh I think I would end up on the closet floor in a fetal position humming campfire songs. Thank you for writing this for other moms! You rock!
ReplyDeleteI think if you lived in NC our son's would be best buds.
ReplyDeleteOkay I loved this post. I'm a little afraid to comment b/c I don't want to be lumped into the random muttonhead cateogory by unwittingly saying something dumb. I'll admit that I have way more limited experience with Asperger's/Autistic children. BUT, I did teach a kid with Asperger's in my classroom last year, and do you know, while he was very difficult to keep on task or get to do any writing, there are two things he said to me that I know were sincere and came from the bottom of his heart.
ReplyDelete1. He told the entire class that my baby being born was a "sacred thing"
2. He also told the entire class to stop making fun of my baby-to-be's name. What was sweet about this was that the kids and I were actually joking about names that I would NEVER give my baby-to-be... but he misunderstood their humor and got upset with the other kids - I was SO touched that he would come to my defense, because I had thought he really didn't even like me or my class... well, maybe he didn't but he had a very deep seated sense of justice.
Gosh, I really liked that kid. :) Sorry for the super long comment. Great post.
I love this entry. Its so true that If you're the mom of a severely autistic child who's still nonverbal at age 6 (exactly my case)you're probably ready to tell the nice people at Aspies for Freedom that neurodiversity can suck it.
ReplyDeleteSo Thanks for this, Im becoming addicted to ur blog. And for Lynn love ur comment and the Top 10 Benefits List. Awesome!!!!!
I know non-verbal people in the autism rights movement... In fact, they often care the most because people automatically assume they are stupid and don't matter and don't realize it when people say stuff about them right in front of them. I can pass, they can't, so they have more personally invested in the movement than I.
ReplyDeleteI am a Special Education Teacher and I am so happy to finally meet some people/parents who have a sense of humor about the differences amoung us.
ReplyDeleteMimi
So...I just finished stalking...I mean reading all your awesome back posts, though my tabs played a trick on me and made me skip a few and go back to find what I missed because I clicked on a link to another one of your posts and forgot to go back to my original starting point.
ReplyDeleteI also cheated at the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books.
I've been a devoted stalker/follower of Kate and Lydia for some time and discovered you through them.
As an (diagnosed as an adult) Aspie Mom to an undiagnosed (it's so clear moms of autistic kids know she's on the spectrum as soon as she opens her mouth) Aspie 11 year old, I have to warn you now; you're stuck with me. I have officially followed you on facebook (though I often forget to check it for weeks then go on a posting binge) and have your blog title in my MyPoints search bar right there with facebook, Rants from MommyLand and another one that used to be open, but is now locked and I can't get my wordpress account to work so I haven't been able to read her and I really dislike when my internets rhythm is upset.
Anyway.To round out the picture, my also spectrum-y(What genetics, where?) husband-shaped-thing and I homeschool the chibi. She's an only child, but not. Her older brother died at 4 days due to an undetected heart defect that was incompatible with life. I say this only because every so often I get tired of saying she's an only child, plus when she was younger and even sometimes still today, she'll correct me and explain about her brother and his heart defect with perfectly anatomically correct accuracy. And the poor, unsuspecting stranger/mom of one of her activity-mates is stuck, riveted in place unable to get out of what I'm sure is a horribly uncomfortable situation to be in.
My middle sibling is text-book Aspie (undiagnosed but finally willing to entertain the possibility now) and just finished getting his dissertation back with corrections for his PhD.
Rounding out the picture, the Chibi's bond cousin/sister (her mother and I are best friends/Lesbian Wives, though she was best friends with my sibling first) was just diagnosed as high functioning autistic. I helped that child be born and Chibi was there for the birth at the behest of said best friend. They're five years apart, and adore each other, but their spectrum-ness are at polar opposites, which basically means that get-togethers are awesome occupational therapy for both of them.
Anyway, this was the last post I read so it's the one I'm rambling on to you about me on.
Sorry.
I love your posts. I love your writing style. I love the way you love your kids. You are stark.raving.super.awesome.
You're sooooooo right about the beat-boxing! One of my friends (I'm in highschool, and I am the student aide for the class for very low functioning kids) is a boy with severe autism. He beat-boxes CONSTANTLY! And I do mean that he is actually beat-boxing on purpose. It is epic.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, by the way. I found it about a week ago and now I have read almost every post! :D
Keep posting and D.F.T.B.A. (Don't forget to be awesome),
Glompy
Excellent list! As husband of an Aspie wife and Dad to three little Aspies, I can SO relate. And the Legos? My God, the Legos are in the very woof and warp of everything in this house and beyond. I might as well live in a house made of Legos.
ReplyDelete3 little "Aspies"? If I wrote 3 little "Retards", would you think that OK? Or how about 3 little N------? Language matters; ban the R-word; ban the A-word.
ReplyDelete@Socrates -- Hey, I know we've had our differences of opinion. Glad to see you back. This is the first time I've heard concerns about the word "Aspie." I do have adult friends who use it about themselves, but I'll definitely be more aware of it from here on out. I can definitely see how it could be annoying. I'm glad you brought this up.
ReplyDeleteSan Diego, Ca. This is the first case of autism abuse to ever go to trial in San Diego County:
ReplyDeleteCaregivers caught on tape eye gouging, kicking, punching, etc...vulnerable autistic man who can't speak: Trial set for 1st week of April, 2013. Justice must be served. Abuse of vulnerable autistic people can't go unpunished. We must ALL speak out in support of justice for this vulnerable person with autism!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSQamWj0voI
http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/09/27/caught-tape-autistic-man-allegedly-abused-caregivers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybiFEVTzGBU