The thing is, the full-tilt slowed down. My husband's job is good. For the most part, the kids are great, their therapies are working, and their their IEPs are running smoothly.
And the moment I slowed down, I broke down. You can only run on adrenaline and coffee fumes for so long before your mind and body just stop working. In fact, the moment I felt like I slowed down and took a breath, I also got pneumonia, and then I couldn't even breathe at all.
I'm currently on the mend from my third round of pneumonia since October. Whee! The nebulizer is my new fashion accessory. I'm considering bedazzling it to make things more fun. Or maybe we can modify the mask part into a Darth Vader thing? Goddamnit, Pinterest, why are you no help with this?
I did find this, though, which made me laugh (and subsequently have an asthma attack):
Image : Darth Vader with an asthma inhaler (via Shirtoid).*
This shirt used to be available at 80s Teeshttp://www.80stees.com/ (no longer in stock but they have lots of other great ones).
|This is probably not the best fashion option for your next IEP meeting.|
Or maybe it is. I'm not sure.
Image: Darth Vader holding sign, "Free Throat Hugs." T-shirt available at 80s Tees.
So instead of writing full-time, I'll just be freelancing pieces here and there. I loved writing full-time, and I loved having the paycheck of working full-time. But I can't do everything. I certainly can't do everything and do it all well. If we can get by without me working full time, I gotta tell you, it's better for me and it's better for our family.
I can't emphasize enough that I mean it when I say this is what's better for our family. I have a ton of mom friends who work. (We all work, I mean the ones who work for pay.) They work full-time, they work part-time, they work from the home, they work outside the home. Every mom I know is just trying to do the best she can for her family, one way or another. It's just that what works is different for everyone.
As much as I valued the work I did--especially bringing special needs issues into the mainstream in publications like Redbook and sites like Babble and Yahoo--those stories wear you down. Parenting my children well takes a certain amount of emotional energy. Coming off a major anxiety/depression breakdown, that emotional energy is precious indeed--and there simply isn't enough to spare on my writing career.
In the mean time I'm going to try to get back to blogging here more, and getting back to the basics of talking about what has worked (and what hasn't worked) for us as a family--especially in terms of autism, anxiety, ADHD, and sensory issues.
Speaking of autism, here is an outstanding piece from CBS News on a study about autism and audio-visual processing. This is a great explanation of exactly why many autistic people can't make eye contact AND process what people are saying at the same time. Please watch, and then send it to every single person that comes in contact with your kid. Really. Right now.
It's good to be back.
*Note: In an effort to make my writing more accessible to those with vision impairments, I'll be making a point to also provide captions that actually describe the image. My usual snark will also be included.